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ONE MISSED CALL (horror movie?).. thoughts of a struggling individual.

I was browsing the text messages in my cellphone this morning and I saw so many things that gave me the reason to cry. Awwww..

Cellphones are really handy. I mean, you can text and call people, you can make them feel comfortable when they're all by themselves and most importantly you can share the gospel through this piece of tech. In fact, manufacturers have already developed more function and features for cellular phones. Functions may vary depending upon the user's "trip". There are games, music stores, chat boxes, emails and many more. But who would have thought that this work of science can be a torturing machine?

Yes, it can bring us pain! It's like when you broke up with your girlfriend, moved on, browsed your phone and again felt the agony of yesterday. All those sweet words that once made your heart melt are now breaking it again. You stare at the ceiling and thought: "why am I hurting myself?" you attempted to delete everything but you failed 'coz those are the only memories left. All of a sudden you feel like all the love you have for her that once was lost, is now regenerating. How you wish you can slap all the messages on her face... "Don't you remember any of this?" you wished such because you're hoping that she would care. You're hoping that everything would be back to the way it was before. You kept on browsing the messages, from those tasty, sugar-coated phrases down to the ones where the fight started.


As you peruse the messages you begin to wonder "who started it? was it completely my fault? what must I do to fix this" In tears, you saw your pride conceiving anger and gave birth to something more. You're confused and decided not to remove your grip on your stubborn pride. You knew that it took him so much sincerity and courage to apologize yet you ignored that. "Sorry, that's it?" came out from you...
You saw your fault; you were shocked to see your comrade fleeing from you.
The tables have turned, now, it's YOU who's asking for forgiveness. "What did I do to deserve this?" you uttered. Someone came to the picture and said: "let go, it's not worth it", "NO!! I promised God not to give up" you replied. You kept your mouth shut for 24 hours and began to fix the mess.

It was too late! or is it? you have no idea about it being fixed. You also came to the point where you had no choice but to give up.

After reading, a ball fell on your head and the ball seemed to wake you up. You find yourself laughing... "why am I being bothered by this? I already moved on right? haha"

These kind text messages that are associated with painful memories can simply be one heck of a tool for making us cry. Of course, deleting and completely moving on from the incident depends on the person. Some people are just fond of resenting and likes getting hurt for the ones they love. (guilty!)

Moving on (which includes the deletion of messages) is a choice. The one who left you didn't take that freedom you have. You can always choose to forget about all the painful past. Yes, it's difficult but eventually TIME HEALS EVERYTHING... seriously! You know the reason why it seems so slow for your wound to heal is because you're still scratching it. Leave it alone! focus on other things. Be happy.

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Taste your words before you utter.


Anyone can say "I LOVE YOU" but not everyone can stand up to it.

You exert effort in fixing a broken relationship while your companion doesn't mind at all. You can't sleep, you can't do your tasks well, yes you smile but deep inside you harbor pain and bitterness. You look at the pictures you stored, pictures that tell your happy memoirs with your friend. You end up crying while your partner enjoys his life. Several days have passed and you still mourn. You keep on shouting "I HAVE LOST MY HALF", "He said he'd never leave! why this?" you thought you've moved on yet you knew that you're kidding yourself. Admit it! you were hoping that he would return. You left your door open but none came.

A couple of days have passed... you feel better... you feel renewed. You realized that he was just too crafty when it comes to words. He was just driven by the waves of emotion... had nothing to say but "YOU'RE IMPORTANT". It was thoughtless! It wasn't heartfelt! It was totally different from what he acts.

More days have passed and now you feel completely better. You try to apply the lesson that you have learned. You inject thoughts in your mind saying that "I'LL NEVER BE LIKE HIM" and that you would be a better friend. To taste your words and make sure it comes from your heart.

BE WISE...
IF YOU DON'T MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY, WHO WILL?
IF YOU DON'T MAKE YOURSELF QUIT FROM BEING A MARTYR, WHO WILL?

You're special.

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Astig pag English! -duh


"U may Gad,, madafaka!!! betch..!" All the "dota boys" shouting the same phrase over and over again...

I went to an internet cafe this afternoon just to update my online accounts. As I entered the cafe, I felt uneasy because of the loud voices that seem to swallow the entire room. Meanwhile, curiosity entered my mind as I opened a friend's profile. Her shoutout goes like...

".'+thE lhadY of dOu6z is nOw mOvin6 on.. fUck to oL of thOse fUcking biTchinesS asShoLes BLOODZ!!! aRe u 6onNa fYt!!?? bUt w8.. mAh luV owNs mEh.. nO onE cAn repLaCe him,'+ za n6a dOu6z jaN.. jOin kaU sa grUp kO.."
http://profiles.friendster.com/37411993

AHUH?? So now people evolved in terms of cursing? From the legacy of the "putang ina mo" now comes "fuck", "bitch", "asshole" and many more.

So I went back home and sat on the couch with nothing to do. Bored, I browsed the messages of my brother's cellphone (sorry). I saw a message that says "Join the maddafackah clan... to join pls.. blah... bla" I was like WHOA! children use this kind of language?

They say that as long as you know how to speak in english even if you're just a kid or you're poor, people will never laugh at you. I don't know, maybe because lifestyle is nothing compared to intelligence (you can be a millionaire and still be a dumbass). And, according to most people, the standard of being an intellect is based on the language one is using. On how well you communicate using the english language. I guess some people are just born stupid that they keep on speaking or cursing in english yet they are not able to define the words they are using.

???: elay, pakyu ka ba? mga bobo at pulubi lang ang nagmumura ng "PUTA" what an asshole!
elay: bobo ka ba? nagmumura ka rin noh! iniienglish mo lang!!
(uy peace tau ha. lab u!)

"since it's cool to speak in english, I'll do it... I don't care about the meaning, order of words, the pronunciation or even the grammar, it still sounds cool anyway!"

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When one chooses to leave


No one can say: "I had no choice" for in every circumstance we're at, we are given the freedom to select between several options.

A dog is considered man's best friend. As I watched my dog this morning I saw ironies which I can relate. My dog loves to bite things; shoes, flip-flops, umbrellas even the tires of my dad's motorcycle. Every time I saw him ruining my stuff, I'd grab a stick and hit him on the head (pretty evil eh). Unlike other pet lovers, I don't take my dog for a walk because... I don't know... I just don't feel like doing it. Sometimes, when I'm in charge of feeding him laziness will strike me.

My dog sleeps on our porch so when I wash my shoes, water will flood his bed. He ends up soaking yet I never bother to dry him, clean his cage, give him blanket nor show a little TLC.

What struck me is that in spite all the terrible things I've done to him, when I go home he'd still welcome me, licking my pants, my arms, reaching his arm to my bag etc. I end up thinking "after all those nasty things I did, why does he still love me? Truly he doesn't deserve me and he has the freedom to leave. WHY DOES HE KEEP ON WELCOMING ME BACK?"

I tried to place myself on the dog's shoes and thought of a person who I love very much. Images began to clear up until I saw his face...

As I recall all my hardships and sacrifices, his response, the pain he caused me, everything.. I wonder... what is this thing that always kept me praying and caring for him? I ignored the freedom of choice either to be happy or to be in agony. I don't know, I guess I was just focused in giving the best of me.

I guess a time will come when you'll be tired of staying and crying. Maybe it's time to consider the option that most people neglect.

Maybe it's time to leave for good..

Some people are just soo darn good in using words. Words and phrases that can make you feel valued. Lines like "I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU" and "FRIENDS FOREVER" can really turn an intelligent person stupid.

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dalawang uri ng tao.


Pag spiritual maturity ang pinaguusapan may dalawang uri ng tao.

UNA:
"Di na magggrow yan, bad influence kasi eh, nakaka stumble ng ibang tao"

Reaction:
"patutunayan ko sa kanilang mali sila, I will always seek God so that he can mold and teach me more!"



IKALAWA:
"Di na magggrow yan, bad influence kasi eh, nakaka stumble ng ibang tao"

Reaction:
"ay ganun ah, edi hindi na lang ako magbabago tutal wala naman ng pag-asa.."


Hindi lahat ng tao ma eencourage na magbago sa ganyang uri ng pananalita. There's no such thing as "one size fits all"! There are people who seem to be brave and strong but are vulnerable when it comes to such. People who may seem to care less and are ignorant but with tears that easily fall.

Have you ever had the feeling of striving for something (I don't know... say... change! and that you know you're changing) until all of a sudden a person tells you that you're hopeless; that you're causing other people to fall. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW AWFUL IT FEELS? DO YOU???

I am not pointing out any names here... This goes for everybody.

That's all

Godbless.

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Pards.


Where oh, friend is thy true face, the one I used to know,
The one that used to laugh with me, that helped me learn to grow?
Why now have we turned away from all those things we shared,
Can time not leave a simple memory or moment unimpaired?

I always tried to reach out and give you the best part of me,
Now it seems I’ve failed as you turn away from me and flee.
What did I do, how can I make it right, this apparent thing,
Which caused you to throw our closeness away and to sorrow bring.

I am me, that’s all I am, I can’t be anything more,
You liked me this way once, remember that, before you leave my door.
And if you go, I’ll cry for you and all you’ve thrown away,
But through the pain I’ll always wish we could go back to yesterday.

-L.A.K.

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An awesome date with God. ^_^


My devotion this morning was totally magnificent!


I have been stressed because of the problems that were straddled on my back these past weeks. After I had my morning devotion, everything (my worries, fears, troubles etc) drifted away. It’s utterly complicated to explicate that the God who controls everything in this world can still find time to spend with me. I am so filled with his love... all I want to do is worship Him all day!

I held on to God’s promise that He will never leave nor forsake me. I am sure that in all my sufferings, He is with me saying: “Let me carry you my child” Also, I believe that there are reasons and lessons to be revealed every time we face such.

On my other blog, a reader deemed that I am as ignorant as blah blah... God vs. No God (just read it, http://elayisametaphor.wordpress.com) I don't know... I was quite sad at first but I don't mind people saying that anymore. I mean, even if they do believe or not, they can never alter the fact that sooner or later they will meet God.

Anyway, right now I'm just filled with the presence of the Holy Ghost. I am overwhelmed with His unfailing love... How I pray that you... yes YOU! can feel this too.


-END-



P.S. I'm currently listening to "we fall down (instrumental)" by Chris Tomlin... Looove it.

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