LOVE My Live

If a stranger came at your doorstep
will you open the door and let him in?

You hardly know anything about him
but he sure brings extraordinary excitement.

Your heart's protected by a huge wall made up of lessons
which you have acquired from your dreadful battles.
Wardens of anger, fear and pride exist to defend it from intruders
and sudden flares of emotion.

Indeed you are cautious.
Afraid to get hurt, afraid to cry for the wrong and unworthy person
and mostly, afraid to get vulnerable.

"If I unlock my door, will he stay?"
"If he does, for how long?"
"If he sees the real me, will he accept it?"
"what if he only wants to take a glimpse and not really enter?"

The ever so awful ghost of the past haunts you again. The questions that build up your evening nightmares reappears and inquires for the second time.

Now matter how long you keep this up or avoid it, it's inevitable! There will be a point when you'll have no choice but to come up with a decision.

Be wise.

If mind is always over matter, is the mind powerful enough to control the heart?

The bottom line of the situation has always been obvious; the person you love doesn't love you anymore. They say that people always have a choice, a choice whether to be happy or to stay in agony. This might sound weird but have you ever experienced wanting to banish the feelings but then there's something in you that you can't explain and this 'something' stops you from totally letting go? A certain "something" that keeps on pulling your leg, hinders you from being free and stops you from being happy.

You always lie to yourself saying: "I'm ok, she's out of my life" but when your music airs, there seems to be an invisible, invulnerable knife stabbing your heart. How you'd wish that you're numb! You can't deny the fact that you're still affected and that your heart has never been healed completely. When you see lovers enjoying the breeze of Christmas, when you see shimmering lights everywhere, tears begin to fall from your eyes unexpectedly. Come on! you can't even quit yourself from texting her. When she sends a reply, your heart jumps in anticipation! The cup of your heart just overflows with so much aching.

I remember reading Neru's blog and the thought that was embossed in my mind was, "why insist, why persist, when you have alternatives" Well... though there are "alternatives" they may not be as good as the one we desire.

"What is wrong with me?!"
"Why can't I stop this?"
"How long will I wait?!"

Answer? You can!

You just don't want to

You just won't accept the fact.

Remember when you were just a little boy and was given a taste of your first antibiotic? How about your first biogesic(did I spell it right)? It was awful right? the taste? By the time you attempted to swallow it, you spitted it out! Surprisingly, several months have passed and you've been able to get used to it. For a little kid it was an achievement!

It's when you've decided to endure the awful taste to once and for all END intensifying pain.

God promised to be our greatest provider but sometimes, when people are totally out of cash, they find it difficult to TOTALLY depend on God.

Well, frankly speaking, for other people, it is really difficult to put their trust on a spirit who though promises overflowing blessings still is invisible. If your prayer request doesn't come on time, you become impatient and instead of letting God handle the situation, you begin to take over. Though he told you to quit worrying, day and night you still think of ways of obtaining revenue. You keep on saying: "God, I love you, I trust you" but when the problem strikes, "Lord, hold on a sec, I think I know how to fix it."

When the moon and the stars are up you'll pray: "Lord, please help me, I trust in you" but when the sun shines you'll say: "Lord, I'm feeling strong, I think I can take it from here."

Sometimes, when people aren't deeply inclined to God's word, they tend to take diverse paths. Some will choose immoral ways just to earn money and though the Holy Spirit convicts them, they'll choose not to dwell in it. It's like saying: "Come on, just let me pay my debts and I'll be back at you!"

People fail to realize that God too has emotions. God is always willing and able to help us. Even if we say to him "I trust you" yet is opposite to what we act, it hurts God. I mean, come on, the heart weighs more than the words we utter. Now, when people choose wrong ways of gaining money, it's sin and it automatically separates them from God's love. What hurts in that situation is that though conviction is upon them, they would rather choose money in the expense of God. An object in exchange for God's love? Now go ahead, say "Ouch"