LOVE My Live

So, I've been experienceing low back pain since Christopher was about six months old. I always figured it was just the extra thirty pounds I carry, plus the extra 25 or 45 I also routinely heft about. My chiro called it "lumbar disfunction" but his treatments didn't help much, so I quit going. On bad days I would take Tylenol or Motrin, but mostly I just lived with it, blaming myself, and hoping I wasn't being a nag about my back.



Well, JR setup an orthopaedic eval for me, so we went in together when he went in for his post-op check-up. JR is healing nicely, no longer needs the neck brace or any pain meds, got his stiches out, and is reporting total and complete relief. I, however, have a bone spur in my L4-5, probably arthritic. So now I get to take arthritis meds, and they're going to do some physical therapy to stop any spur-induced slippage toward what might have become a real slipped disc.



I'm glad I went in. I'm glad it's not just that I'm fat and lazy. I'm glad the pain in my low back will diminish with once/daily pills and six weeks of specific exercise.

To that someone who will never be replaced,

I sat beneath the star-spangled sky watching you. You're laughing with your friends, cracking silly jokes with joy written all over your face. You're happy indeed and indeed you've missed them. It's been a long time since you have left. I missed your laughter, those eyes of yours that held all the beauty in the world and our moments, such memories filled with endless wonder. We could have died of happiness, or at least I could have.

Now you're back. Truly my prayers have been answered, that those long cold nights of crying were not in vain. It's sad though, how you forgot about me, how you ignored my presence, how I had to steal glimpses of you, how I sit here, here under this thick, moonless, black canvass craving for your attention.

I guess I have no more room in your heart. I guess all the roles in your little theater show have already been taken, that happiness is only a state of mind, a phony dream, a trap of wonderful promises. Still, I'll leave a space for you in my heart, in case you'll need me, in case you'll return.

Everything is happening too fast...

Time was utterly swift
It was unnoticeable
The winds came
it carried our memories
as it passes
You're all grown up now
You've moved on
Yet here I remain
Sitting under the stars
couldn't resist
the temptation of the past
sitting here...
Trying to taste the good times
Trying to feel how it was like

They were the best of friends but now it's as if they never crossed each other's path

They've been friends for quite a long time. The girl would always sing songs to the guy while in return the guy would compose dozens of poems. Every single word is infused with unfathomable passion and as every ink spills, so does yearning and love. Hers is the sweet voice that awakens the boy from deep slumber and the one, a soothing lullaby that cradles him to bed. There is no storm to intense for them to endure, no mountain too high for them to reach and no problem too big for them to overcome.
Their hands were held and their fingers locked as they walked through life. They became the light to each other's path, the strength for every weakness and the smile for every tear. Their love was far more sweeter than the sweetest honey, higher than the limitless heavens and deeper than the deepest ocean. The finest words could never portray the strong friendship that encloses them.

One day the boy asked: "would there be a chance that you fall in love with me?" "of course" the girl replied. The sweet exchange of words continued as new chapters of their lives began unfolding. It was the time to flip the coin and take a glimpse on the other side. A once pleasant friendship became a passionate romance. They were so engrossed into each other, engulfed by the warmth of the love they shared. They were immersed in the depths of each other's heart, so in love that they could write books about their love. As their eyes meet, seconds turned hours and as his lips press against the girl's the universe paused to witness such immeasurable love.

They broke up. Knife-life words spitting out from the boy's mouth piercing and wrecking the girl's heart apart. She was emotionally battered. In fact, both of them were for none of them thought this would have happened. None of them desired to put an end to their grandiose story. The sun hid behind the shadows of the clouds as lightning flashed across the sky. A few moments have passed and the heavens began pouring out its tears. The bright picture was filled with shades of agony. They embraced for the very last time whispering cold and unbearable words of goodbye

A couple of sunsets have passed yet the boy's heart remained wounded. He found himself trapped in a cage of regrets. His heart grew weak every passing moment longing for the girl's caress. He lost more than just a lover but a best friend. The roots that were once deep were easily plucked out. For two years the boy cried over his bestfriend. Tears kept rolling down his cheeks as he stab himself with letters the girl once wrote for him. The poems that were once overflowing with inexpressive joy, poems that were filled with a vast array of colors are now dull and dead. He had to endure 2 years of unending torment.

One day the boy asked if they could once again journey together, steal blissful glimpses from the past and head towards the future together lovers or best friends it doesn't matter as long as they're together the boy would be glad. "Can't we just forget what happened and write a new chapter in our lives? Can't we just hold on to the happy memories and use it to reignite the fire in our hearts? Can't we have one last chance? Can't we?" The boy clutched the girl's arms as he cried these words. The girl turned away and said: "What happened in the past stays in the past, to be honest I don't have any feelings for you anymore." The boy shook the girl's arms and uttered: "Look me in the eyes and say you don't love me! you're my best friend, you're the one person who knows me, who knows how I feel even without saying a word, the one who can look deep into my eyes and tell me how I am doing." The girl did what the boy asked. The boy was stunned. He stood there watching helplessly as the girl walked away from him.

Their book ended with that sorrowful conversation.
THE END.

They say that you don't know what you have until you lose it but I think it doesn't work that way. For me, you do know what you have, it's just that you thought you'd never lose it.