LOVE My Live

15th Rose

Posted by Jublang |

It was the night when all the heavenly bodies gathered to witness my chance of holding you again in my arms, an evening when time stood still and problems seized to exist.

I sat on my chair with a white rose on my hand. As I patiently wait, my body grew cold and my heartbeat rapidly increased. I was like a trembling criminal on a courtroom waiting for my verdict. As I remained perfectly still and hushed on my seat I stole glimpses of you; your eyes, your smile, your lips, your everything!

Finally my moment came. I stood up and walked towards you and as I give you my rose I feel my knees tremble! It felt as though no one was around... I never thought that this moment will come again. I just can't compare you with anything in this world.

There were lots of desires running around my mind as we danced; to smooth your elegant hair with my fingers, to cup my hands on your tender cheeks, to kiss those sweet lips, to stare on your ever so dazzling smile, to look deep into those mesmerizing eyes, to hug you... to hold you... forever.

As our music continues, I saw my coffin of infinite regrets surfaced. It felt like all those years I spent longing and crying for your return were just mere nightmares and that this is the point where I'll wake up. Unfortunately, what I thought was real was just made up of fantasies, thoughts and desired feelings... I guess I just 'felt' it.

I went back to my seat with teary eyes... sat there gazing upon you and your 18th dance.

"All those years I've longed to hold you in my arms, I've been dreaming of you. Every night, I've been watching all the stars that fall down, wishing you would be mine." -Side A, Forevermore

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Messages in a bottle.

Posted by Jublang |

I saw you an island not far away. You sat there on the shore, hugging your knees with tears rolling down your cheeks. The soft bed of sand embraces your body, trying to sustain the warmth you're longing for. The gentle ocean breeze soothes your soul, blowing all the troubles and pain away. I saw you all by yourself, a stranger with no one.

I don't know your story, I don't know why you're weeping. I wish I could help, to offer my listening ears or my trustworthy shoulders but I can't. Like you, I was devastated, tossed and turned by the devouring waves, wrestled with the rocks and ended up shattered. Like you, my heart was injured.

The waters became calm. The unbearable nightmares and dreadful visions vanished. I sent you a message, a message in a bottle floating its way to you. I wanted to sympathize with your hurts, to share your pain and to hold your hand.

A few days later you replied. It was one of those unforgettable moments when the sun shone. An unforgettable second when a stranger painted a smile on my face... a second of having hope, hope of again, experiencing laughter and joy.

We exchanged letters and surprisingly our hearts were connected. I became a brother to you, a friend and a comforter. A stood on my island taking every breath with you. Don't you think engineers from heaven designed this plan? a plan that two totally different worlds will spin together? that two strangers will discover friendship? I believe it wasn't any accident, it was fate.

Again, I stood on the shore thinking. I am uncertain of when and how this will end, of how much strength we need to face the odds but one thing is for sure; I will hold your hands as tight as I can, that even if you let go... my hands will never.

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My Long road home

Posted by Jublang |

The audible sound of the crowd from outside the room was vividly heard as Elijah sat silently in the utter darkness.

His eyes grew wide, barely daring to breathe, listening to the sharp, heartbreaking words from the mouths around him. Elijah seized the crystal tears from falling as he continued enduring the ache of the knife like words piercing his soul. He has carried a lot of grief and cried a lot of tears in his short existence but not like this one.

Every time an interminable silence occurs, Elijah would take a deep breath, doing his best to pull himself together as they slowly torture and wreck his spirit apart. Elijah knew better than to explain, to apologize or even to cry. To see the people he once thought as his second parents, his second brother, his second home stone him to death was indeed... excruciatingly painful.

His already two huge eyes seemed to outgrew his face as he watched the inevitable tension increase in their eyes, and with a single superhuman gesture, they battered him with words with such speed, that the air seemed to have leave Elijah's lungs.

The person whom he expected to somehow defend him just sat there and watch his spirit being tortured. There was no whimper of pain, no sound as invisible hands slapped him hard across the top of his head. To Elijah, the sound of the blows were deafening.

He walked the long road ahead of him all by himself. The flickering lamp posts guiding his way as he walk the seemingly infinite road were somehow offering him comfort. Wondering when he'll find home his eyes begin to flood with tears and as he walk there, he felt the embrace of no one but the cold February breeze.

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Dreams.

Posted by Jublang |

Help, I'm drowning.

Their hands were held as they ran along the shore,
laughing and playing under the bright colors of the spectrum.
The soothing warmth of the ocean breeze
was caressing their skin as they run.
They sat together, hands still held,
feeling the gentle friction between them and the ocean waves.

They went towards the magnificent waters for a splash
The whole afternoon was blissful, filled with
laughter and smiles beyond description
They made sandcastles, collected shells and had
a little picnic.

The girl took the guy's hand
"promise me you'll love me forever"
The guy nodded... "yes"
They were a couple of inches away from the shore
They wrote their dreams and forevers on a piece of paper
Together, they folded it and made a little paper boat

All of a sudden, the sun vanished
The bright warm skies turned black
the water became cold and unbearable
The massive waves came between them
yet their hands remained intact
fingers crossed
not letting go

The girl was crying
her tears were rolling on her cheeks
her feet was struggling, fighting
the ocean that devours her
she was catching her breath
breathing...
panting...
gasping..
her picture was far from portrayal
She clutched the guy's hand
still not letting go.

The guy was in panic

confusion and pride consumed him
corrupted his mind
and hardened his heart
he lost his grip of the girl's hand
then swam towards the shore

The girl was stunned
her tears fell harder this time
seeing the guy whom he loved
departed from her
she cried for the guy's help
but he was on the shore now....
far from her...

The guy could've saved the girl

but he chose to wait on the shore
to wait for the waves to bring the girl back
it seemed like the ocean of agony
that tortured the innocent soul of the girl
mean nothing to him
I guessed he thought that since
the waves will bring her again
all he could do is wait
and apologize
apologize for choosing pride over her
for ignoring her tears
for unclasping her hands
for breaking his promises
for letting her go

She woke up crying...
crying because even in her dreams
the same thought of the guy leaving her
kept haunting her.

Questions left unanswered
words left unsaid
promises left unfulfilled.

In tears, She remained on her bed...

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He continued walking.

Posted by Jublang |

Company by his own, he continued walking along the narrow brick road. The storm never hushed, for days it kept on pouring its inconceivable wrath.

He reached an intersection and paused for a moment. Lights were escaping from his sight as the lamp posts begin to fade, the sound of the raindrops were traveling in and out of his ears, there were no colors visible in the picture... it was dull and dead.

The fog started to clear the road. He was puzzled to see someone on the other side of the street. The storm is totally bad and there's no reason for people standing on the streets by themselves. He surely doesn't know the person's story, it was a book he never laid hands on. "What could be so wrong that this person chose to walk on a stormy night alone?" He crossed the wet and slippery street towards the person.

A couple of fireflies lit the scene as they sit under an oak tree. It was their first time to talk yet they seemed to treat each other very special. The rain poured harder and this time, they used their jackets for protection. There were confessions and stories told. They took turns in narrating their books to each other. The simple gestures of listening and opening up made the dreadful storm bearable.

They both stood up and started to walk. As they laugh and play together under the rain, he realized the smile painted on his face. He was surprised that a person so strange and so new was able to turn his frowned face to a happy one. He was uncertain of until when his new friend will stay but right now, all he wanted to do is love his friend... to love like he's never been hurt.

"holding you for the very first time, never letting go"

-To be with you, David Archuleta.

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Thoughts

Posted by Jublang |

He left his umbrella, his comfort zone. He left even the umbrellas he once shared with his friends. He ran in the pouring rain to chase a friend walking away from him.

(Staring on the blank ceiling... in silent... thinking.)

Oh yes, I could still remember his overflowing love for his special friend. Pondering upon the dreams he dreamed, the laughter and sorrows they shared, everything! Sitting on the dining table, watching movies on the laptop, munching on chips and cookies and cracking jokes. The fresh memories of them dancing foolishly in front of the mirror, midnight conversations over the phone and a whole lot more. I could still recall the time when he ran out in the storm, running in the slippery streets panting for air, navigating through the storm, his feet struggling, giving everything to restore the golden chain of friendship.

He saw his friend standing on the horizon. His friend's face was gray and blurry, as usual he's wearing skinny jeans, skater shoes and a fitted shirt. "I don't want to share my umbrella with you anymore!" There! the immortal words that stabbed his heart, he was surrounded with so much noise but his voice cannot be ignored for it was very familiar! It was so unfair that he left everything to go after his friend yet ended up with nothing, oh he did end up with something; broken hopes, a broken heart and a broken spirit... blah blah... he moved on... blah blah.

They went on their separate ways. The storm's getting more furious so he went to search for his old friends and find some shelter (after all, life isn't meant to be played individually diba?). EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED. He was filled with tears! He tried to seize the crystal liquids but it was useless. His huge eyes outgrew his face. The people whom he once shared umbrellas with are now comfy sharing it with new people. The roles in their little theatre show are already taken leaving him no space... no one. He still see them in his dreams, even his special friend and let me tell you it doesn't help! Those dreams left him in a cage of illusions. Like a lion, he's craving for freedom, he wanted to escape!

He was there, standing, the lamp posts guiding his way, the freezing winds caressing his skin. There's no one to hold him, no one who cares... no one.

It was hard to accept that he's alone now, but it's harder to live with it.

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I chose silence.

Posted by Jublang |

Every time I write a blog entry, I would have to find a quiet place where I can focus and work. The deafening silence enables me to concentrate on what my mind is attempting to utter. Silence allows me to choose my words with great precision, organize my random thoughts and discover my true being.

I found myself bewildered as I stumble upon a friendster page. The page was from a very familiar person, but it wasn't him who struck me, it was his shout out. "Silence is the virtue of fools" Yes! The immortal words of Sir Francis Bacon, though centuries old, found revival in these recent cultures. Most of my friends think that I am never silent. Those who matter the most to me know that most of the time, I am.For a person like me who admires silence, I asked myself why in certain situations do I choose to keep my mouth shut.

I maintain silence every time a pray to the Almighty. For me it's quite difficult to focus on Him and listen to His words if you're the only one who'll keep babbling. There are times when it would be best to remain silent and let Him do the talking.

Well, as I have mentioned in the introduction, I love to be silent when I'm writing a blog entry blah blah.

When I do lyrical hiphop and contemporary dances, I stay hushed for a couple of minutes internalizing the lyrics of the song. In doing this, I become good in evoking emotions, eliminating the uncessary moves and executing the vital ones.

WHEN I READ! Reading has been my way of venturing and escaping to another realm. For me, my imagination would be more effective in silence.

When I try to patch things up with a foe or fixing misunderstood situations. Of couse, the 'fixing' part would work out smashingly if one would choose to keep silent and listen. "It's quite true that the more one listens, the more one is listened to! In other words, people vastly appreciate someone who actually listens to what they say." -Owlwings

Lastly, I keep silent when I'm in an argument. I'd rather choose silence because sometimes it is plain useless to argue with foolish people. Answeing and explaining to these type of humans will do nothing but drag you down their pathetic level.

Obvious naman na disagree ako sa sinabi ni Bacon! Silence is never a virtue of fools! Wisdom comes down to knowing when to speak up and when to shup up.

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all the doubt."
-Abraham Lincoln.

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15th Rose

Messages in a bottle.

My Long road home

Dreams.

He continued walking.

Thoughts

I chose silence.