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Showing posts with label blogger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogger. Show all posts

Hidden Beauty

No longer hiding what is naturally been beautiful about me; my truth to myself.
 ~Stylicia A. Bowden~
 
 
It's official 2013 is now here and as quickly as it was ushered in it will quickly roll pass too. Alot of people have jumped on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon saying "This year will be different". I often ponder wondering what will be different about this new year for me. I choose not to do resolutions but set goals, create a plan and effectively strategize to live the life I deserve. I am tired of speaking things without putting the action behind it so 2013 for me represents "Just Do It" motto coined by Nike. In this phenomenal journey I believe it is also time to unveil hidden parts of me to embrace the authentic self. In every women's life it comes a time where she has to be real with herself because the lies start to drain her energy. When you lie to yourself you set yourself up for disappointment, wreckless behavior and falsifying who you are. It is not appealing to live your life in manipulating yourself and pretending. I have came to the conclusion that being real with me is the only option I deserve because it helps me embrace every aspect of myself. I no longer want to hide my true emotions or accept things that are below my standards. So many women hide their true self in hopes of maintaining false relationships. Sometimes we bargain our happiness to trade it in for lies. I understood how important it was for me to start being real with myself so I can get what I deserve. I got tired of living in my disillusional world and fairytale life. I had to be willing to say what I really desired in my life and what I was allowing to hold me back from love, life and happiness. 2013 is a year for me to live life in no regrets, unveil my hidden beauty and just do it. Whatever your allowing to stop you from living then be honest about it and face it. Stop accepting life as it is and say how you really feel, what you really desire and what is blocking you. The greatest accomplishment in your life is being true to yourself because "honesty is the best policy". Honesty is the only solution to accept who you are to bring forth a natural you. A natural woman is a woman who can say No and mean it & say "I really desire or want this..." "I do not want this or that". This natural woman will not compromise her truth to live a fabricated life because she will never be happy. When she is truthful she will be willing to miss out on some opportunities because she is waiting on the opportunity she desires and will not settle. She choose not to fill the voids in her life with temporary nonsense just to prove to others she has someone or something. Instead she waits patiently in her truth because her truth has set her free. 

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It's Okay To Try Something New!

When new ideas, concepts, thoughts and creativity come knock on your door you have to be brave enough to embrace "that something new"....~Stylicia~ 


The world around us is full of new things but yet we stick with what has become familiar; our home, friends and family is all familiar. Sometimes we are scared to embrace something new. Newness has its own mystery and self discovery for a person to immerse themselves into wholeheartedly. Today I read a news story on Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr aka Lil' Wayne who was deciding to retire from his rapping career. He has become well known for his savvy business skills as a business mogul. He has successfully discovered new rappers such as Drake, Tyga and Nicki Minja. He explained in the article how he has been rapping for 22yrs. If you are thinking what I am thinking this is a very long time to be committed to a talent without exploring other things. He also stated in the article once he is committed to something he is committed to it wholeheartedly (100%).  This statement is a reminder for me to never be so committed to something that I cannot break the commitment to do something else. Sometimes certain commitments are worth breaking when you no longer have a zeal to do them anymore. I think about my own life how I have been writing since I was 8yrs old and have committed myself to be the best writer possible. I was committed to being a great poet but I realize I was neglecting other avenues of my gift. I was more than just a poet spitting poems on the stage I was a writer who wanted to see my articles in every well known magazine and newspaper. Its funny, writing college papers has perfected my skills in writing and challenged me to be a better writer. I would get frustrated writing papers in college on subjects that were completely boring. However, in the end it motivated me to do research to bring out a masterpiece paper. I knew in my heart it was time for me to branch out in different avenues other than poetry. I was getting tired of the traveling, not getting paid what I was worth and no one really appreciating my gift. But the epiphany came where I understood I had to appreciate my writing gift enough not to put it in a box. The truth is I have really started to enjoy blogging because it is my own space to write letters of inspiration to myself. When I started blogging two years ago I had no idea where this blog would go but God gave me ideas little by little. The blog started to evolve into my life journey of becoming a woman and becoming authentic. It was a slow process but near the beginning of this year my blogging journey took flight. Even when the blogging fever ends then I will be challenged to explore other new avenues in my writing. Timing is everything when it comes to trying something new in your life. I believe when that clock of dissatisfaction starts to creep in with one thing then its time to start fresh with something else. When the excitement is gone and there is no more butterflies something new may be creeping in your heart. If you have no passion for it anymore then maybe the passion is meant for something else. Overall, do not be fearful to spread your wings to try something new. I believe it is a brave thing to step out embrace the adrenaline rush of trying something new. Go ahead, it's okay to try something new!

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The Individuality Factor: The Nonconformist

Individuality is a beautiful freedom to be totally you.~Stylicia~

In this world we live in being different can sometimes be frowned upon but being an individual carries a lot of freedom yet it also carries a lot of weight. Those who live in a country where conformity is the ideal thing may have a hard time embracing individuality. When I was in the military we all looked alike because we were forced to wear the same uniform. As I begin to spread my wings I realize I was a nonconformist. It was never meant for me to fit in because I embraced my individuality. When you grow up you are never taught that being an individual is powerful. You are taught to do what others tell you to do, be respectful and follow all the rules. Children are never challenged to step outside of their comfort zone and be unique. It is expected for them to go through school make good grades, graduate from high school, go to college and then get married to have kids. However, life is unpredictable and what if they are sidetracked by life unexpected detours, how can they be prepared to stay the course. I believe as parents it is important to teach our kids to be individuals. Let them know its okay not to be in the "popular crowd". It is important to teach them to be who they were created to be. It is such an injustice to not allow children or even ourselves to be the individual that God created us to be. I am challenged everyday to teach my daughter to be an individual and nonconformist. I make sure I actively let her express her individuality in all creative avenues. There is a great amount of freedom with being an individual because it taps into your authenticity. When you are an individual you become a nonconformist. It is a great freedom to be true to who you really are within. 

I would always have issues conforming to things in my military lifestyle because a big part of me wanted to be free. My nine year journey in the military revealed to me that I was such a nonconformist. I believe to some degree I chose to conform to be accepted by the majority. I was never truly happy with being squashed into the status quo of average. When I decided to release myself from the prison of conformity that is when I truly saw my transformation. As I grew from a young lady to a grown woman I truly began to outgrow the box that I was securely placed in those nine years. It was time to break free so I could become the woman God wanted me to be. I was challenged by this new genre of freedom to no longer be meshed with a group of people. I stood out like a widows peak and a part of me wanted to run back to the shelter of belonging but I knew I no longer fit in. It was never meant for me to conform to fit in but it was always meant for me to embrace my individuality and just be true to myself. So many people look for a certain movement to join to feel good about themselves because they are apart of something. But individuality takes courage to defy the odds just to say, "I cannot conform, I will not conform because I am an Authentic Masterpiece". 

Here are a couple of nonconformist I admire (some on this list are deceased but still are iconic):

1) President Barrack Obama
2) Ledisi
3) Mary J. Blige
4) Rihanna
5) Solange Knowles
6) Katy Perry
7) Marilyn Monroe
8) Whitney Houston
9) Bette Davis
10) Britney Spears
11) Lucille Ball
12) First Lady Michelle Obama
13) Jada Pinkett

The list is continuous....  

P.S. Ask Yourself Are You A Conformist or Nonconformist? be honest with yourself.....

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Authentic Fridays Guest Blogger: Ellena Balkcom


The Simple Truth
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.

Many years ago, early in our marriage, I bought my husband a magnet with this quote. It’s very simple, but quite powerful at the same time. I loved it and I knew it spoke to where we were at the time. We were young and full of hopes, dreams and expectations of great things for our lives. Needless to say, it continues to speak to where we are. We understand now that you don’t ever outgrow or out-achieve the relevance of its meaning, since the journey of dreaming and living is a continuous one.  Since then, Thomas and I collectively have purchased several knick knacks with this quote for both ourselves and others. I guess it’s become sort of a family mantra.
Well, while recently doing research for a writing project at work, I stumbled across Mr. Thoreau’s quote and noticed that a second line was added. Apparently, all my knick knacks didn’t have the quote in its entirety! I’m sure this was just the manufacturer’s way of saving space on small items like magnets and bookmarks, but I was a bit surprised that after all these years, I’ve only been getting only half the message. The entire quote actually reads:
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you
simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.” ~Henry David Thoreau
Again, simple, but powerful! When googling “laws of the universe,” many things popped up. Everything surfaced from the super scientific to the theological and astrological. When one search revealed a broad definition of the 7 Laws of the Universe, it said, “The best definition of Natural Law seems to be that it is the uniform and orderly method of the omnipotent God. Unlike any other form of animal life that has been created, we were given the power of choice or free will; along with this power came certain responsibilities.” After reading this and the complete definition of laws listed on the site, the truth became very clear and simple to me: 1. God has a natural order that our life should mimic, 2. We should trust that God knows and sees all, 3. We have the power to choose every moment and in every situation, and 4. With our choices, come responsibility and consequences (good or bad). Why do we make it so much more complicated?!
For me, as I leave one year and enter another, I desire more than anything, simplicity in my life as it relates to cleaning out the mental, material, and emotional clutter, trimming the physical and financial fat, focusing on the things that really matter and living the life I always imagined for myself and my family. This will allow me to go confidently in the direction of my dreams and actually live the purpose for which I was put on this earth. This may mean saying “no” more, putting my needs and the needs of my family first more, staying focused on the goal without distraction and it may even mean not attempting to be everything to everybody. It turns out that I’ve been making it much harder than it needs to be.
To all of you, I say simplify your life as well, so that the laws of your universe will also be simpler. It just shouldn’t be that complicated in 2012.
An abbreviated version of the 7 laws state:
  1. The Law of Perpetual Transmutation: 

    The law of attraction will deliver to you what you do not want as quickly and as certainly as it will deliver what you do want.
  2. The Law of Relativity: 

    In the study of this law, we find that all things are relative. All laws are related to each other and correspond with each other. The laws of the little are the laws of the great. There is no big nor small, fast nor slow, except by comparison. Whenever the law is properly used, you win. Let's remember that everyone does something better than you and, likewise, you do something better than every person you meet. When you relate something you do that you are not proficient at, to something another person does that they have mastered, you will not look good. You are using the law against yourself. Begin using this law to heighten your self esteem. You will then become aware of how special you are in the light of truth.
  3. The Law of Vibration and Attraction: 

    Everything in the universe vibrates...nothing rests. We really do live in an ocean of motion. This truly contains the great secret of life. You are always moving toward something and it is always moving toward you... it's action and attraction. Thought is the most potent vibration and remember that you can think...that makes you a very special creation (God's greatest masterpiece). You should always be delighted with yourself. (All creation begins in thought.)
  4. The Law of Polarity: 

    Everything in the universe has its opposite. There would be no inside to a room without an outside. If something you considered bad happens in your life, there has to be something good about it. If it was only a little bad, when you mentally work your way around to the other side, you will find it will only be a little good.
  5. The Law of Rhythm: 

    The law of rhythm embodies the truth that everything is moving to and fro, flowing in and out, swinging backward and forward. There is a high and a low tide. Everything is flowing, both in and out, in accordance with the law. There is always a reaction to every action. You are not going to feel good all the time; No one does. If you did, you wouldn't even know it. The low feelings are what permit you to enjoy the high feelings. There will always be highs and lows in life. Reason gives us the ability to choose our thoughts (that is free will). Even when you are on a natural down swing, you can choose good thoughts with your free will and continue to move up toward your goal.
  6. The Law of Cause and Effect: 

    Every cause has its effect; every effect, its cause. There is no such thing as chance. Everything happens according to law. Your physical health, your relationships, the respect you earn, your material income. You must concentrate on the cause, and the effect will automatically take care of itself. That is how the law works.
  7. The Law of Gender: 

    The law of gender manifests in all things as masculine and feminine. It is this law that governs what we know as creation. This is in truth, the creative law. This law decrees everything in nature is both male and female. Both are required for life to exist. This law also decrees that all seeds (ideas are spiritual seeds) have a gestation or incubation period before they manifest. In other words, when you choose a goal or build the image in your mind, a definite period of time must elapse before that image manifests in physical results. 

Ellena Balkcom is Founder and CEO of Written On Purpose Communications (writtenonpurpose.com), creator of the Voice I.D. System of Communication Branding and a former Walt Disney Company Communications professional with nearly 20 years of experience in Marketing, Internal and External Communications. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter @WrittnOnPurpose.

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