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Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts

10 Lessons From The FLOTUS on Ladyhood & Femininity

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Lesson 1: Be a confident woman
Lesson 2: Wear your clothes do not let them wear you!
Lesson 3: Be bold without making excusing for who you are, No validations needed.
Lesson 4: Your beauty is timeless do not force your presence.
Lesson 5: A woman does not have to act like a man to be a woman of wisdom. Act like a lady, think like a lady & embrace your feminine nature.
Lesson 6: Do not try to fit in be the woman God created you to be.
Lesson 7: Its ok to be emotional we are women, lets show our femininity. 
Lesson 8: This is a man's world but without the woman it would be nothing. (James Brown song)
Lesson 9: Be a lady at all times, know your worth & walk as the queen you are!
Lesson 10: Embrace your faith, dismiss drama & speak less. Let your presence be a sounding trumpet. Less is more!

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Hidden Beauty

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No longer hiding what is naturally been beautiful about me; my truth to myself.
 ~Stylicia A. Bowden~
 
 
It's official 2013 is now here and as quickly as it was ushered in it will quickly roll pass too. Alot of people have jumped on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon saying "This year will be different". I often ponder wondering what will be different about this new year for me. I choose not to do resolutions but set goals, create a plan and effectively strategize to live the life I deserve. I am tired of speaking things without putting the action behind it so 2013 for me represents "Just Do It" motto coined by Nike. In this phenomenal journey I believe it is also time to unveil hidden parts of me to embrace the authentic self. In every women's life it comes a time where she has to be real with herself because the lies start to drain her energy. When you lie to yourself you set yourself up for disappointment, wreckless behavior and falsifying who you are. It is not appealing to live your life in manipulating yourself and pretending. I have came to the conclusion that being real with me is the only option I deserve because it helps me embrace every aspect of myself. I no longer want to hide my true emotions or accept things that are below my standards. So many women hide their true self in hopes of maintaining false relationships. Sometimes we bargain our happiness to trade it in for lies. I understood how important it was for me to start being real with myself so I can get what I deserve. I got tired of living in my disillusional world and fairytale life. I had to be willing to say what I really desired in my life and what I was allowing to hold me back from love, life and happiness. 2013 is a year for me to live life in no regrets, unveil my hidden beauty and just do it. Whatever your allowing to stop you from living then be honest about it and face it. Stop accepting life as it is and say how you really feel, what you really desire and what is blocking you. The greatest accomplishment in your life is being true to yourself because "honesty is the best policy". Honesty is the only solution to accept who you are to bring forth a natural you. A natural woman is a woman who can say No and mean it & say "I really desire or want this..." "I do not want this or that". This natural woman will not compromise her truth to live a fabricated life because she will never be happy. When she is truthful she will be willing to miss out on some opportunities because she is waiting on the opportunity she desires and will not settle. She choose not to fill the voids in her life with temporary nonsense just to prove to others she has someone or something. Instead she waits patiently in her truth because her truth has set her free. 

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The Upgrade Experience

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The most powerful thing about being a woman is understanding upgrading is a luxury that comes with the maturity of age. ~Stylicia~


2013 is soon to make head way into our lives while 2012 will be a far and distant memory for us. 2012 will be apart of an epic moment but it will be known as our past. The thought of who you are or what you were in 2012 should not be a thought at all. The only thought that should penetrate in your mind is "how will I upgrade myself in 2013". In this last defining month of 2012 I have really embraced myself on a different level. It seems as if everything around me has been upgraded from hair, clothes, style, and all of thee above. God has taken me on an authentic journey for the last year in a half and next year in April I will celebrate my two year authentic journey; the moment I became a free woman. This month I learned how important it is to embrace living well, feeling well and the finer things in life. We were taught only rich people understand what it means to live good and be comfortable. However, living well is not about money it is a mindset. It is a wealth thing not a rich thing. This month I was able to experience the upgrade which included me crossing over to a new level of class, style and embracing the aging process. An epiphany happen this month I tap into the finer things in life like being grateful for what I have, where I am at and where I am going. I decided to do a 10 day gratitude fast speaking sounds of gratefulness to life, love and to the Lord. God has been very good in my life but I took it for granted and did not give thanks for what I have in the now. Once I started to speak words of gratefulness my life has begun to multiply. I had a great desire to look for quality and not quantity anymore in my life. The upgrade experience started in my internal being which has spilled out like an oil leak to the outer parts of my life. This month I went from Coach purses to Michael Kors purses, from rules to my wardrobe color palette to mix match bright colors, shopping at Express (which I love this store & will always shop there) to shopping at White House Black Market and from a chic short hairstyle to a funky do. I realize in the upgrade experience I started to look more mature as I walk boldly into my womanhood. The upgrade experience has just begun this month which has manifested outwardly, lying dormant inwardly.  I can now embrace my sexiness on all levels not being afraid to be a woman who embraces sexiness yet understands elegance is key. It has been such an empowerment for me to allow God to take me through this season of upgrade. I have even upgraded my finances by becoming a better steward of my money and started to save it. It has made me feel so good to at this point in my life to prepare for my future. I prepared for everything else in my life but never for my future. The upgrade experience is an exploration of my whole life transitioning to a new level. 


Ask yourself am I ready to take my life to another level in 2013, is it time to upgrade myself internally and externally and if the answer is Yes, spend the last couple of days of 2012 detoxing your mind  start fresh in 2013. It's time for an upgrade experience and 2013 is a great year to start the process.

Cheers To A New You, Well Defined You and Embracing the Finer Things Life has to Offer You!

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It's Okay To Try Something New!

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When new ideas, concepts, thoughts and creativity come knock on your door you have to be brave enough to embrace "that something new"....~Stylicia~ 


The world around us is full of new things but yet we stick with what has become familiar; our home, friends and family is all familiar. Sometimes we are scared to embrace something new. Newness has its own mystery and self discovery for a person to immerse themselves into wholeheartedly. Today I read a news story on Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr aka Lil' Wayne who was deciding to retire from his rapping career. He has become well known for his savvy business skills as a business mogul. He has successfully discovered new rappers such as Drake, Tyga and Nicki Minja. He explained in the article how he has been rapping for 22yrs. If you are thinking what I am thinking this is a very long time to be committed to a talent without exploring other things. He also stated in the article once he is committed to something he is committed to it wholeheartedly (100%).  This statement is a reminder for me to never be so committed to something that I cannot break the commitment to do something else. Sometimes certain commitments are worth breaking when you no longer have a zeal to do them anymore. I think about my own life how I have been writing since I was 8yrs old and have committed myself to be the best writer possible. I was committed to being a great poet but I realize I was neglecting other avenues of my gift. I was more than just a poet spitting poems on the stage I was a writer who wanted to see my articles in every well known magazine and newspaper. Its funny, writing college papers has perfected my skills in writing and challenged me to be a better writer. I would get frustrated writing papers in college on subjects that were completely boring. However, in the end it motivated me to do research to bring out a masterpiece paper. I knew in my heart it was time for me to branch out in different avenues other than poetry. I was getting tired of the traveling, not getting paid what I was worth and no one really appreciating my gift. But the epiphany came where I understood I had to appreciate my writing gift enough not to put it in a box. The truth is I have really started to enjoy blogging because it is my own space to write letters of inspiration to myself. When I started blogging two years ago I had no idea where this blog would go but God gave me ideas little by little. The blog started to evolve into my life journey of becoming a woman and becoming authentic. It was a slow process but near the beginning of this year my blogging journey took flight. Even when the blogging fever ends then I will be challenged to explore other new avenues in my writing. Timing is everything when it comes to trying something new in your life. I believe when that clock of dissatisfaction starts to creep in with one thing then its time to start fresh with something else. When the excitement is gone and there is no more butterflies something new may be creeping in your heart. If you have no passion for it anymore then maybe the passion is meant for something else. Overall, do not be fearful to spread your wings to try something new. I believe it is a brave thing to step out embrace the adrenaline rush of trying something new. Go ahead, it's okay to try something new!

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The Biological Clock

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If you are focused on when, what, where & how you will miss out on the now. ~Stylicia~

Lately, I have noticed that specific women I know have confessed their desires to be married and have a kid. They feel like their time is running out and they are never going to get to meet their Boaz. Many women have become fixated on their biological clock running out on them. However, I am a firm believer to understand that God's timing is not predicated on the world's system or timing.  Some women have lost hope on being found and instead of using their time in waiting to work on themselves they have used this time to wallow in loneliness, depression and desperation. I can truthfully say 18 months ago I felt the same way before I started my authentic journey. I tried to make every guy I was involved with my Boaz. This gesture left me empty, used and desperate because I was willing to force the process instead of diligently wait on God. I did not realize the time in waiting was meant for me to become whole. After my last unsuccessful relationship I was faced with the fact that my way was not working so I needed a new plan. Once I yielded my plan unto God I realized I had alot of personal issues that needed to be addressed. I could not be the woman I needed to be in marriage if I did not know the authentic me. I got tired of attracting the same type of guys but quickly I knew it was me that had to change in order for the men to change. I made it a habit to run away from the issues dwelling in my soul. The person I was at the time was dysfunctional. Once I began my journey I had to face a lot of things I was passive about in my life. I was controlling other's lives because my life was out of control. I needed to be true to myself and stop neglecting the woman that was hidden on the inside. So, after the last emotional relationship I decided to get my heart, soul and mind in order. It was time to face my dysfunction and issues. I started my Authentic Journey on April 2011; my life has not been the same. I spent the last 18 months transforming into a new woman. I had no idea who I was because I had a low self worth & self image about myself. I thought sex was love and if a man really got to knew me he would not like me. I understand now that those were false self image mechanisms Satan fed me to believe. I believed them which led me into to the trap of compromise. I compromise my walk with God to fulfill the lust of my flesh. It lead me down a road of having lower self esteem, guilt and shame. However, today I can proudly say that "Stylicia" no longer exist because I know my worth and chose my celibacy journey. I am a new woman learning the new me everyday from my likes to dislikes. I no longer focus on my biological clock because I have become consumed in accomplishing my goals and enjoying life to the fullest. I do know I desire to be married but I am in no rush for it until I am whole. Instead of being consumed with counting down when my biological clock will expire I have been enjoying the time I have being a single woman.I did not cherish my single-hood before but now I can cherish it to the utmost. I have fell in love with this time of soul searching and loving myself totally and completely. So, you single ladies who feel like you will never meet "the one" or your eggs are about to be rotten before you can give birth to another child just remember Sarah (in the bible) was almost 100 years old when she conceived. Stop focusing on the when, who, what and how. While in waiting, this is the perfect time to deal with your  dysfunction & issues. This time should be used to live life to the fullest and finding your purpose. Waiting is preparing.....

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This Girl Is On Fire!

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“Becoming my new self, some people didn’t understand me anymore. Some people who I knew for years—we couldn’t be on the same page anymore. That’s OK because that’s part of growing, too. The hardest thing is to trust yourself, to know that what you’re feeling is valid. A lot of times we dismiss our feelings. I realized that I can trust myself and say, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that.’ That was the toughest part. When I finally had the bravery to do that, that’s when I started to feel on fire.” ~Alicia Keys (intercept from Complex Mag Interview Nov 13, 2012)



I remember clear as day when I first became a fan of Alicia Keys it was while I was stationed in Jacksonville, Florida. I heard her first hit song Fallin' off her debut album Songs in A Minor, her vocals and talent blew me away. It was refreshing to hear a woman singer who sung about positive things and showcased women in a positive manner. In all her videos Keys always kept it classy and I truly respect her for that. She has changed throughout the years but I can truly say I have changed with her in her musical journey. I can honestly say I own every album from Song in A Minor to The Element of Freedom. When I first heard Girl On Fire I realized there was a new Alicia emerging from a new place. I did not automatically love it but because I am a fan I was urged to read the lyrics to the song. Once I read the lyrics to the song I became a fan of this song because I could relate to the words she bellowed out. Girl On Fire is a true testament of my journey into a brand new me and embracing the new person I am right now. Alicia Keys new album is entitled "Girl On Fire" with two hit songs already New Day (which is my favorite song thus far) and Girl on Fire. Girl On Fire is so motivating to me because after losing my two year old daughter five years ago a new me was emerging from the pain, bitterness, anger and so many other embedded emotions. Through this life altering event I was faced to deal with my personal issues from passiveness, mental & emotional abuse, self neglect, toxic relationships, growing apart in friendships and so much more. The song is a true testament of my evolution and embracing a better me, a whole new me on a whole new level. Although I have changed I refuse to let anyone put me back in the box, I am striving to stay on fire for what I want to accomplish in life. I stop making excuses and start making things happen in my life to me that is the true definition of a Girl On Fire. I even had to add this song to my morning inspirational list because when the world sometimes get too surreal I have to be reminded that the road may be lonely but I will stay on fire for all that I am setting my mind to accomplish while I am still on this Earth. Alicia Keys is truly a Girl On Fire who is not scared to grow, fly and leave some things behind. After reading the interview from  Complex magazine I became more of a fan because she really explained where she is in her life and how being the new her is refreshing. She also talked about the graduation from a girl to a woman which I can relate to that on all levels (LOL). I have been a girl trapped for a long time but when I turned 30 the woman in me started to emerge I started to focus on nurturing myself more and taking care of me. I no longer put myself on the back burner but started to feel comfortable in my skin. I really started living and stop taking life for granted. I had to step back, reflect and meditate on where I want to go and what I wanted to do; in this redefining moment I could relate to being a Girl On Fire who now has became a woman on fire!

Here is a couple of quote commentary from Alicia Keys interview with Complex Magazine interview (November 13, 2012) that stood out to me:

It’s not a departure. It’s growth. I love the way that I’ve been able to go deeper into my lyrics and my songwriting and go to a place I was too afraid to access before.

Because I started so young, so much of my life has been like catching up to myself—or trying to run underneath myself so I’m not falling. I finally stepped back and was able to look at it all and say ‘Wow.’ No complaints. I’m glad to be where I am and have this life. But it could be different. I don’t want to have the type of life where I’m not living or I’m always working or always fitting into whatever perfect box. I don’t want that type of hectic life. I don’t want people in my life that encourage that in any way. I’m not my old self anymore.

Becoming my new self, some people didn’t understand me anymore. Some people who I knew for years—we couldn’t be on the same page anymore. That’s OK because that’s part of growing, too. The hardest thing is to trust yourself, to know that what you’re feeling is valid. A lot of times we dismiss our feelings. I realized that I can trust myself and say, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that.’ That was the toughest part. When I finally had the bravery to do that, that’s when I started to feel on fire.

The whole freaking world is looking at your [stuff]. It’s scary. I didn’t want to say every single thing because you don’t want people to know that. There’s personal and there’s public, and I deserve the right to have a personal space.

References: Kenner, R. (2012, November 13). Retrieved from Complex: http://www.complex.com/music/2012/11/alicia-keys-december-2012-january-2013-cover-story/page/2



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What's Holding You Back?

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Passion is what keeps me alive even when I want to fall asleep I can't because there is always a burning to do more. Passion is the desire or burning fire to produce something greater on the inside of you inspite of what it looks like in your life. When you know your life is changing and something greater is about to take place in your life it is hard to sleep because passion is keeping you woke. In the last seven days I have been immersing myself in my mental detox with no tv, no music, no social media etc., literally no distractions. This mental detox has purge me in my mental capacity in order for me to produce the life I want for myself. So many times we applaud other people for living their dreams but believe it could never be us. This is a sad vision because God has given us all the power to create our lives but we limit ourselves with our own personal thoughts. I realized in order for me to go to the next level in my life my mindset had to shift and I truly had to dig deep into myself to face my those defeating thoughts. The mind is such a powerful weapon because it has the power to produce or not produce.  All of your dreams and aspirations do not lie in someone else power but we have the power to unlock all the wealth, joy, peace, and abundance that lies on the inside of us. We allow fear of the unknown to stop us from taking our lives to another level. Fear is your worst enemy if you never face it. 

This year I decided to face my fears and it has changed my life. I am able to conquer "the fear of the unknown" because I needed to walk out on faith. Faith is the only remedy that can cure the fear that is holding you back from living an abundant life. The old clique states "A mind is a terrible thing to waste" which is true when you waste it in fear. The world will show you images of death to keep you living life in fear. However, you have to decide to live life in faith. I was in the military for nine years it taught me how to be fearless. I lived in two foreign countries on my own and it taught me how important it was to walk out on faith. I was never fearful about life. I was adventurous and embraced each moment. It is time to get out my comfort zone and live life on edge again. Since I have lived back in the states for the last six years it has made me comfortable and complacent. Now, I am ready to break out of my shell, live life on edge and be fearless again. I have not found any fun in being comfortable because being comfortable is boring. When I decided to step out of my comfort zone I really started to live life again. Since the adrenaline rush is back I am determined to move full speed ahead in this fearless state. 

Now I ask you, what is holding you back? 
What is keeping you hostage to a comfortable life, living life in the comfort zone? 
It's time for you to gain an adrenaline rush to live life on edge. So take inventory, free yourself & make a decision to be fearless!

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The Michelle Obama Era

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It never does us any justice to live below our standards, to hate anyone, to ridicule or tear down someone else character. We live in a world where anything is possible but we first have to deal with our demons and become better women and men. We have to be willing to stop hiding our greatness & let maturity sprout to its full size so we can be effective in this world & not defective. ~Stylicia~
 
 
Everyone has a calling to be great in their life but we sometimes let circumstances, laziness, excuses, and mediocrity take center stage. We carry baggage that eventually affect our relationships especially our sisterhood. As I have grown in this personal journey in my life I realized how important sisterhood is in my womanhood. If we do not deal with our own demons we will handicap or disable another sister from growing to her full potential. I made a decision this year to get to the root of my issues and deal with them up close to repair the damage done in my own heart and life. I made a decision to unleash my own insecurities & setbacks to become a better sister to my sister girls of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds. I realize it is my duty to be a better woman, to be a whole woman so I can help other women journey into being their authentic self. When you are hurting you cannot be effective in providing help to someone else. It is true hurt people hurt people and it can infect relationships to the core. I have personally experienced in my life sisterhoods growing apart or falling by the wayside because of hidden issues I did not address in my life. However, when you begin to deal with your wounds and face the demons in your closet you can heal. I started to heal when I faced roots that were sprouting from weeds in my own backyard. I tried to help everyone else but I was running from my own emotional baggage. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired when the same issues in my sisterhood were being repeated. I made a decision to be mature enough to deal with me and find out what was the root of my pain, anger, bitterness and often harsh attitude. If we never choose to deal with the root the weeds will continue to sprout in other forms of our lives and then it will have a cyclical effect. We are in an age where women can conquer anything and be whoever they want to be but if we do not face our baggage we will never grow to our full potential. Michelle Obama is a woman I admire because she knows her worth, she has the confidence and boldness to exude her power to change the lives of other people. She uses her power in a profound way to heal, uplift and inspire other women to be powerful effective women. We can learn many things in this era of First Lady Michelle Obama by understanding sisterhood has the power to connect us with your God given purpose. If  we are hurting and need assistance with the healing process maybe we should reach out to people who are qualified for the job such as therapist, psychologist, spiritual leaders etc. When two women are hurting then they cannot be each others strength because it is impossible for two wounded souls to help each other. Since we are now in an age of women evolving, soaring to higher heights we have no excuse not to be great & walk in our God given purpose. Sisterhood is about being whole within yourself so you can help someone else find the path to their authentic self. Let us let go of all the baggage and raise up to the standard of being phenomenal women who can change the world....Let's not forget women of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds can do anything because we are now living in "The Michelle Obama Era".....Let's move out of our own way!

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Letters To My Past

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In order to heal sometimes you have to be willing to write a letter to your past and the people in your past. ~Stylicia~

Recently I realized the root of my anger, my temper and flying off the handle for every little thing; the root was my past hurts, scars and wounds I have not acknowledged. I also realized I had not forgiven the guy who raped me when I was 18 or the men who mentally and emotionally abused me. I have been carrying around this baggage without acknowledging it. I knew I had to bring closure to these issues instead of blocking them out of my life. I needed to also forgive female friends who treated me wrong and manipulated our friendship. My anger has been an issue for me for a long time, I would go off on  friends, family, and become very harsh. My daughter brought it to my attention that I was never happy but got angry at every little thing. I have not been at peace because there was a residue of all this junk on the inside of me. I started my journey 2 weeks ago but it took full form when September 1st, 2012 was ushered in. I am on a journey to find peace within but first I have to allow God to do a D&C to scrape out  the residue so I will not get an infection. I cannot take this load in my new place or new journey. My new life, new me and new journey begins now!

Below is a personal letter to my past & things I have bottled in my soul too long it is time to be free and open. I share this with my readers because I am no longer ashamed of my past and I can be free in order to help someone else to be free. Let's begin......

Dear Past,
I acknowledge the wounds, scars and residue you left me to deal with so today I made a decision to face these issues. I would like to first address my issue of looking for love in all the wrong places and wanting that special guy to love me. I did not love myself so I settled for sex as a form of love but it never really satisfied me because I still felt empty. At the age of 18 years old I was raped and I never fully acknowledge it because in some way I thought it was my fault because I did not scream for him to stop. I just laid there letting the act take place because I had a fear of fighting for myself. I did not want the physical intercourse at all but fear paralyzed my words to say "NO"! Today I forgive this faceless man who I cannot remember and I would like to tell him I will not hold on to my anger and bitterness anymore. I will no longer let him steal my peace, joy, happiness and love for myself. So, I forgive him for the rape and I will move on free and happy in my life. The next thing I would like to acknowledge is the consistent mental and emotional abuse I went through with certain men in my life from my past. One man that I remember in particular who threaten my life, my daughter life and stole some personal possessions from me 7 years ago. He abused me mentally and emotionally by tearing me down, ripping my self esteem to shreds but today I forgive him because I have been holding on to this pain for too long. I forgive the abuser and wish him well. I let go of the past scars and I will now be free to live a joyful life. I forgive him for the threats, for stealing my personal possessions and wish him well in his life. I also forgive all men who have abused me in some way. I stopped playing the victim role several years ago and today I am a victor. I forgive female acquaintances who have talked behind my back, slander my character and manipulated our friendship for their own personal gain. I also forgive friends who cut off the friendship without even communicating the issue with me. I forgive them and have no anger or hurt towards them because the time they had in my life was strategic and it taught me about myself. I also want to acknowledge the pain and hurt I caused them as well. Forgiveness is a two way street and never should be thought of as one way. I know I have wounded people in my life and I pray they can forgive me for my attitude, selfishness, and anger in the past. I pray they heal from the personal scars I inflicted on them. I want to make peace and so I will walk in peace by letting my past scars go. God I thank you for gutting me out, getting to the core of my soul and scarping the residue of my past. I am no longer the insecure, unhappy, angry, bitter or selfish "Stylicia" people remember I am a new woman and I walk boldly into the woman I am on today and everyday. Past, I say goodbye to you and I am finalizing our connection. I do not regret my past because it made me the beautiful person I am today. I do not regret the people I met, the friends I had but I cannot take you Past into my future because I am made new. I will remember the memories and smile when I think of you. I appreciate you because you formed me for my future. Past hurt, pain, manipulation, low self esteem and every other negative emotion that was attached to my past I say goodbye to you. I will no longer revisit the hurtful part but smile to know it all was for a bigger purpose, a purpose greater than me. I am made anew..Behold God has done a new thing and now it has sprung forth!

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 ( New Living Translation)

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Go Ahead...Be Simply Fabulous!

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A confident woman is a woman who embraces her beauty,
shows her beauty, creates her own style, make no excuses
for her greatness
by ostracizing herself to fit in with other woman.
She is not fearful but fearless.
She teach others how to "own'" their greatness,
She speaks well of her haters & still manages to laugh when
people talk behind her back & laugh in her face because she realizes some
wish they could be her but she only is doing the world justice by walking in her
 God given purpose!
She is the woman who only wishes to create a fabulous life because she is
"Simply Fabulous"!  ~Stylicia~

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I Want More!

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     Today I was supposed to take a day off from social media, writing and school work however I was not successful with sticking to that commitment. However, I did take a break from my school work per my daughter's orders (LOL). It was hard to take a break from my writing because this is what I do best; writing heals me, soothes me and inspires me when everything else seems to fail . It is not hard to take a break from my social media outlets but today I received a great tweet from a fellow writer saying these words:

Danni Kay@mzaleck: @releasethepen: And so I'm set 2 write Dating Tales of a Church Girl 4 the next 6 wks! Check me out every Mon on       

     In a quick instance this tweet uplifted me because when you have a gift and work hard at what you do you pray that soon your gift will be showcased before the world. Her news gave me hope, joy, faith and determination not to cast away my confidence in the gift God has freely given me. When your words have the power to alter someones life then the gift you carry is powerful. Words are powerful, Proverbs 18: 21 says so,"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (NIV).
  Eventhough, I have been blessed with so many opportunities in my writing I am still determined to reach higher ground. God has blessed me with an amazing gift to touch people's soul through the stroke of my pen. I am very grateful for the doors He has opened up in my writing journey this year and years pasted but, Danni's tweet gave me hope to never settle for mediocrity but continue to reinvent myself through my writing. I am in a different space and place in my life now so I yearn to have more, obtain more and be more . I know where I am is not where I plan to be in the next couple of months. Some may believe that wanting more is wrong but wanting more means you are making a choice to live the life you desire. Why settle for less when you can have more, expect more and live abundantly. We were created to live a fabulous life and today Danni's tweet reminded me to jump on the bandwagon of expectation; "Expect more, Want More, So You Can Have More!"      

You can follow Danni @mzaleck on twitter or check out her site at www.missaleck.com   and check her out on essence.com for her feature every Monday for the next 6wks "Dating Tales of a Church Girl ".

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Be Yourself....

Posted by Jublang | Labels: , ,

~Ralph Wado Emerson~

The defining of age has define my beauty, increased my confidence and help me embrace the beautiful woman that lies within. I am learning at this stage in my life to embrace my beauty in all forms, from my hair; short and chic, to my eyes, to the accent of my curves, to my soft brown hue, to my petite height. I am not ashamed to admit how beautiful I am, how smart I am, how brilliant God created me. Some may say this is pure conceit but I beg to differ, this my Darlings is what you call "CONFIDENCE". It took me a lifetime to accept me for who  I am now. I never got a chance to tap into the authentic woman I desperately wanted to become. The persona I created did not define the real me. Many people say be authentic, be real but we tend to live in a society where fabrication is accepted quicker than realness. Originality is described to be the state of having a freshness or newness that evokes a nontraditional persona. In 2011, I took time to examine myself and found out I was not the "Stylicia" I really wanted to be but just a fabrication of what others thought I should be for the sake of being polite. I am at a turning point in my life where I have decided to be true to myself and not allow anyone to define me. When I was in my 20s I was constantly trying to find out who I was so I went through different transformations in my hair, the way I dressed and much more. But when I turned thirty I realized I could not stay on this path I had to embrace the authentic me. When you begin to think of authenticity you think of realness, being bona fide and unadulterated. When you are authentic you are not a water down version of what others believe you should be for the sake of pleasing others. Authenticity has a class and charm that attracts other authentic people. It has been 9 months since I have been on this authentic journey and it has changed my life. There was a time I cared about what others thought of me and I spent time trying to explain myself. I finally got an "Aha" moment and realized  I do not need to explain or justify who I am to anyone. The things I need to improve God will help me improve overtime but until then the Lord will help refine those thorns to make them a beautiful flower. So instead of spending hours of imitating someone else look, style, and persona how about you be bold, daring enough to create your own edgy look through fashion and through life. Express who you are by being true to you...God has created us for His glory and He did not make us all to be clones of each other. The Lord is a God of variety and diversity from different shapes, sizes, skin tones and cultures. Embrace who you are and be the "authentic" you!




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