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Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Hidden Beauty

No longer hiding what is naturally been beautiful about me; my truth to myself.
 ~Stylicia A. Bowden~
 
 
It's official 2013 is now here and as quickly as it was ushered in it will quickly roll pass too. Alot of people have jumped on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon saying "This year will be different". I often ponder wondering what will be different about this new year for me. I choose not to do resolutions but set goals, create a plan and effectively strategize to live the life I deserve. I am tired of speaking things without putting the action behind it so 2013 for me represents "Just Do It" motto coined by Nike. In this phenomenal journey I believe it is also time to unveil hidden parts of me to embrace the authentic self. In every women's life it comes a time where she has to be real with herself because the lies start to drain her energy. When you lie to yourself you set yourself up for disappointment, wreckless behavior and falsifying who you are. It is not appealing to live your life in manipulating yourself and pretending. I have came to the conclusion that being real with me is the only option I deserve because it helps me embrace every aspect of myself. I no longer want to hide my true emotions or accept things that are below my standards. So many women hide their true self in hopes of maintaining false relationships. Sometimes we bargain our happiness to trade it in for lies. I understood how important it was for me to start being real with myself so I can get what I deserve. I got tired of living in my disillusional world and fairytale life. I had to be willing to say what I really desired in my life and what I was allowing to hold me back from love, life and happiness. 2013 is a year for me to live life in no regrets, unveil my hidden beauty and just do it. Whatever your allowing to stop you from living then be honest about it and face it. Stop accepting life as it is and say how you really feel, what you really desire and what is blocking you. The greatest accomplishment in your life is being true to yourself because "honesty is the best policy". Honesty is the only solution to accept who you are to bring forth a natural you. A natural woman is a woman who can say No and mean it & say "I really desire or want this..." "I do not want this or that". This natural woman will not compromise her truth to live a fabricated life because she will never be happy. When she is truthful she will be willing to miss out on some opportunities because she is waiting on the opportunity she desires and will not settle. She choose not to fill the voids in her life with temporary nonsense just to prove to others she has someone or something. Instead she waits patiently in her truth because her truth has set her free. 

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The Upgrade Experience

The most powerful thing about being a woman is understanding upgrading is a luxury that comes with the maturity of age. ~Stylicia~


2013 is soon to make head way into our lives while 2012 will be a far and distant memory for us. 2012 will be apart of an epic moment but it will be known as our past. The thought of who you are or what you were in 2012 should not be a thought at all. The only thought that should penetrate in your mind is "how will I upgrade myself in 2013". In this last defining month of 2012 I have really embraced myself on a different level. It seems as if everything around me has been upgraded from hair, clothes, style, and all of thee above. God has taken me on an authentic journey for the last year in a half and next year in April I will celebrate my two year authentic journey; the moment I became a free woman. This month I learned how important it is to embrace living well, feeling well and the finer things in life. We were taught only rich people understand what it means to live good and be comfortable. However, living well is not about money it is a mindset. It is a wealth thing not a rich thing. This month I was able to experience the upgrade which included me crossing over to a new level of class, style and embracing the aging process. An epiphany happen this month I tap into the finer things in life like being grateful for what I have, where I am at and where I am going. I decided to do a 10 day gratitude fast speaking sounds of gratefulness to life, love and to the Lord. God has been very good in my life but I took it for granted and did not give thanks for what I have in the now. Once I started to speak words of gratefulness my life has begun to multiply. I had a great desire to look for quality and not quantity anymore in my life. The upgrade experience started in my internal being which has spilled out like an oil leak to the outer parts of my life. This month I went from Coach purses to Michael Kors purses, from rules to my wardrobe color palette to mix match bright colors, shopping at Express (which I love this store & will always shop there) to shopping at White House Black Market and from a chic short hairstyle to a funky do. I realize in the upgrade experience I started to look more mature as I walk boldly into my womanhood. The upgrade experience has just begun this month which has manifested outwardly, lying dormant inwardly.  I can now embrace my sexiness on all levels not being afraid to be a woman who embraces sexiness yet understands elegance is key. It has been such an empowerment for me to allow God to take me through this season of upgrade. I have even upgraded my finances by becoming a better steward of my money and started to save it. It has made me feel so good to at this point in my life to prepare for my future. I prepared for everything else in my life but never for my future. The upgrade experience is an exploration of my whole life transitioning to a new level. 


Ask yourself am I ready to take my life to another level in 2013, is it time to upgrade myself internally and externally and if the answer is Yes, spend the last couple of days of 2012 detoxing your mind  start fresh in 2013. It's time for an upgrade experience and 2013 is a great year to start the process.

Cheers To A New You, Well Defined You and Embracing the Finer Things Life has to Offer You!

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This Girl Is On Fire!

“Becoming my new self, some people didn’t understand me anymore. Some people who I knew for years—we couldn’t be on the same page anymore. That’s OK because that’s part of growing, too. The hardest thing is to trust yourself, to know that what you’re feeling is valid. A lot of times we dismiss our feelings. I realized that I can trust myself and say, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that.’ That was the toughest part. When I finally had the bravery to do that, that’s when I started to feel on fire.” ~Alicia Keys (intercept from Complex Mag Interview Nov 13, 2012)



I remember clear as day when I first became a fan of Alicia Keys it was while I was stationed in Jacksonville, Florida. I heard her first hit song Fallin' off her debut album Songs in A Minor, her vocals and talent blew me away. It was refreshing to hear a woman singer who sung about positive things and showcased women in a positive manner. In all her videos Keys always kept it classy and I truly respect her for that. She has changed throughout the years but I can truly say I have changed with her in her musical journey. I can honestly say I own every album from Song in A Minor to The Element of Freedom. When I first heard Girl On Fire I realized there was a new Alicia emerging from a new place. I did not automatically love it but because I am a fan I was urged to read the lyrics to the song. Once I read the lyrics to the song I became a fan of this song because I could relate to the words she bellowed out. Girl On Fire is a true testament of my journey into a brand new me and embracing the new person I am right now. Alicia Keys new album is entitled "Girl On Fire" with two hit songs already New Day (which is my favorite song thus far) and Girl on Fire. Girl On Fire is so motivating to me because after losing my two year old daughter five years ago a new me was emerging from the pain, bitterness, anger and so many other embedded emotions. Through this life altering event I was faced to deal with my personal issues from passiveness, mental & emotional abuse, self neglect, toxic relationships, growing apart in friendships and so much more. The song is a true testament of my evolution and embracing a better me, a whole new me on a whole new level. Although I have changed I refuse to let anyone put me back in the box, I am striving to stay on fire for what I want to accomplish in life. I stop making excuses and start making things happen in my life to me that is the true definition of a Girl On Fire. I even had to add this song to my morning inspirational list because when the world sometimes get too surreal I have to be reminded that the road may be lonely but I will stay on fire for all that I am setting my mind to accomplish while I am still on this Earth. Alicia Keys is truly a Girl On Fire who is not scared to grow, fly and leave some things behind. After reading the interview from  Complex magazine I became more of a fan because she really explained where she is in her life and how being the new her is refreshing. She also talked about the graduation from a girl to a woman which I can relate to that on all levels (LOL). I have been a girl trapped for a long time but when I turned 30 the woman in me started to emerge I started to focus on nurturing myself more and taking care of me. I no longer put myself on the back burner but started to feel comfortable in my skin. I really started living and stop taking life for granted. I had to step back, reflect and meditate on where I want to go and what I wanted to do; in this redefining moment I could relate to being a Girl On Fire who now has became a woman on fire!

Here is a couple of quote commentary from Alicia Keys interview with Complex Magazine interview (November 13, 2012) that stood out to me:

It’s not a departure. It’s growth. I love the way that I’ve been able to go deeper into my lyrics and my songwriting and go to a place I was too afraid to access before.

Because I started so young, so much of my life has been like catching up to myself—or trying to run underneath myself so I’m not falling. I finally stepped back and was able to look at it all and say ‘Wow.’ No complaints. I’m glad to be where I am and have this life. But it could be different. I don’t want to have the type of life where I’m not living or I’m always working or always fitting into whatever perfect box. I don’t want that type of hectic life. I don’t want people in my life that encourage that in any way. I’m not my old self anymore.

Becoming my new self, some people didn’t understand me anymore. Some people who I knew for years—we couldn’t be on the same page anymore. That’s OK because that’s part of growing, too. The hardest thing is to trust yourself, to know that what you’re feeling is valid. A lot of times we dismiss our feelings. I realized that I can trust myself and say, ‘No, I’m not comfortable with that.’ That was the toughest part. When I finally had the bravery to do that, that’s when I started to feel on fire.

The whole freaking world is looking at your [stuff]. It’s scary. I didn’t want to say every single thing because you don’t want people to know that. There’s personal and there’s public, and I deserve the right to have a personal space.

References: Kenner, R. (2012, November 13). Retrieved from Complex: http://www.complex.com/music/2012/11/alicia-keys-december-2012-january-2013-cover-story/page/2



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Liberation From Guilt: Code Let It Go!

You have to be brave enough  to face your guilt & disassociate yourself from the  pain of the past. ~Stylicia~


I have so many unwritten, unfinished stories to tell from my life but I know there is a time and a place to unveil certain aspects about my past. Writing has become a way for me to emotionally disconnect myself from the pain in order to heal from imprints of my past. I believe you do not have to rush to tell your stories but when you are ready to be free your stories, which are God given testimonies help you release the shame. I woke up this morning under the impression that my guilt from my past had been haunting me long enough. When you are no longer afraid to tell people your failures or who you use to be they cannot hold it over your head. You will not hold the past over your own head as well. In the last year I have revealed so much about myself that I would not normally do because I am a very private person. However, when I was able to tell God, "I am ready to be free, I am ready to tell each story at each specific time" that is when my pen flowed so easily just like today. Today, I said out loud "I no longer want to be hostage to guilt anymore" from these simple words my freedom has come and now I can tell this story today. 

When I was 23 years old I got an abortion and I never discussed this with anyone at all. The only person who really knew was my best friend in Detroit. I never felt the need to discuss it because the decision I made was appropriate for me during that time. Many people will judge me and say things that they cannot even relate to until  they have "walked in my shoes". We all have things we wished we never done but some of us are not brave enough to forgive ourselves and repent. Instead we judge others and become hypocritical of other people's situations without understanding their journey. However, I have learned to live in a nonjudgmental zone with people. Judging others will only bring judgement upon yourself (Matthew 7:1). There are many things I could be ashamed about but now I can say "so what" who the son set free is free indeed. Today is a day I feel free to be my authentic self and not care about what others think about me. 

When you hold guilt and shame it will hold you hostage to your past. It will also hold you hostage to feeling obligated to doing things you do not want to do. I have encountered plenty of old friends who were in my life who used my guilty conscious as a way to keep be indebted to them. People who use this type of manipulation prey on your weakness to feel like you owe them something. Be careful with people who try to send you on guilt trips so they can use and abuse you. In order to break the cycle you have to confront your guilt and shame to enter into an agreement of wholeness & forgiving yourself. 

I cannot lie "I feel so free writing this right now" because I can walk in total freedom knowing God has forgiven me and I repented years ago for things of my past. Repentance will bring you into a peaceful place with yourself and God. It does not matter what people will say or how they will feel about me what matters is how I feel about myself and knowing God loves me. I will no longer let my past define me for my next level of living. This path I walk is often lonely because I choose to be real with myself but it has been a rewarding journey for the last 18 months. I can face my guilt and shame just to tell it "You can no longer hold me hostage I have disassociated myself from the past & my future is so much brighter now!"


Be Free, Face Your Fear, Guilt & Shame, Repent, Forgive Yourself & Then rejoice because God has given you a new beginning. Everyday his mercies are new!

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What's Holding You Back?

Passion is what keeps me alive even when I want to fall asleep I can't because there is always a burning to do more. Passion is the desire or burning fire to produce something greater on the inside of you inspite of what it looks like in your life. When you know your life is changing and something greater is about to take place in your life it is hard to sleep because passion is keeping you woke. In the last seven days I have been immersing myself in my mental detox with no tv, no music, no social media etc., literally no distractions. This mental detox has purge me in my mental capacity in order for me to produce the life I want for myself. So many times we applaud other people for living their dreams but believe it could never be us. This is a sad vision because God has given us all the power to create our lives but we limit ourselves with our own personal thoughts. I realized in order for me to go to the next level in my life my mindset had to shift and I truly had to dig deep into myself to face my those defeating thoughts. The mind is such a powerful weapon because it has the power to produce or not produce.  All of your dreams and aspirations do not lie in someone else power but we have the power to unlock all the wealth, joy, peace, and abundance that lies on the inside of us. We allow fear of the unknown to stop us from taking our lives to another level. Fear is your worst enemy if you never face it. 

This year I decided to face my fears and it has changed my life. I am able to conquer "the fear of the unknown" because I needed to walk out on faith. Faith is the only remedy that can cure the fear that is holding you back from living an abundant life. The old clique states "A mind is a terrible thing to waste" which is true when you waste it in fear. The world will show you images of death to keep you living life in fear. However, you have to decide to live life in faith. I was in the military for nine years it taught me how to be fearless. I lived in two foreign countries on my own and it taught me how important it was to walk out on faith. I was never fearful about life. I was adventurous and embraced each moment. It is time to get out my comfort zone and live life on edge again. Since I have lived back in the states for the last six years it has made me comfortable and complacent. Now, I am ready to break out of my shell, live life on edge and be fearless again. I have not found any fun in being comfortable because being comfortable is boring. When I decided to step out of my comfort zone I really started to live life again. Since the adrenaline rush is back I am determined to move full speed ahead in this fearless state. 

Now I ask you, what is holding you back? 
What is keeping you hostage to a comfortable life, living life in the comfort zone? 
It's time for you to gain an adrenaline rush to live life on edge. So take inventory, free yourself & make a decision to be fearless!

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Unapologetic

I rarely blog about celebrities but we have to understand they are human too and who are we to judge..everything was made through God so none of us are a piece of junk but imperfect masterpieces navigating our way through this thing called life. ~Stylicia~


Rihanna is infamous for being in the news, if it is not about her music it is about her relationship woes with Chris Brown. However, I believe this young lady is still trying  to find out who she really is as a young woman. People have judged her and ridiculed her as if they know the real Robyn "Rihanna". But how can we cast the first stone when we all have a past and we all were 24 years old once upon a time. I remember when I was 24 I was young, carefree, risky and dumb. However, I did what every 24 year old did in life when you are still trying to find your authentic self. Yesterday when I saw the unveiling of Rihanna's new album cover I was awestruck by the message I saw that surrounded her in words. As a poet I saw the artistic style in her message but as a writer I read between the lines to see a young lady who have emotions. We all have emotions but why do we have to be defined by what other people think. A person who is authentic is real with who they are and unapologetic for being who they were born to be. I believe in society we have allowed rules, regulations and people's opinions to conform us to a false image of ourselves. When people had a chance to view Rihanna's interview on Oprah's Next Chapter they saw a young lady who was scared, shy and loving.  We live in a society where image is everything so as a business woman I understand the image of my brand will hurt me or help me. However, I also know what people observe about me through social media does not mean they really know who I am. Everyone has multifaceted sides to who they are depending on who they may be around. When I am at home my daughter sees one side of me, when I am doing business then colleagues will see another side of me and when I am with my family in Detroit I feel free to be totally unadulterated "Stylicia".  Rihanna is a prime example of a young woman in search of love, ruling the world in her genre and being forced to live up to the standards of being a role model to other young girls. However, her message is profound saying " I am who I am, I may be what you think I am but I am unapologetic for being true to myself". The best lesson I took from her new album cover is hiding who you really are will hurt you so it is important to be honest and open with yourself. Authenticity can only be resurrected when you no longer live your life on other people's time table but grow from your mistakes. Growth is a process and Rome was definitely not built over night. We all are handcrafted by God to be a unique extraordinary design framed by him and him alone.

Live Bold. Live Loud. Live Authentically. No apologies needed!

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The Michelle Obama Era

 
It never does us any justice to live below our standards, to hate anyone, to ridicule or tear down someone else character. We live in a world where anything is possible but we first have to deal with our demons and become better women and men. We have to be willing to stop hiding our greatness & let maturity sprout to its full size so we can be effective in this world & not defective. ~Stylicia~
 
 
Everyone has a calling to be great in their life but we sometimes let circumstances, laziness, excuses, and mediocrity take center stage. We carry baggage that eventually affect our relationships especially our sisterhood. As I have grown in this personal journey in my life I realized how important sisterhood is in my womanhood. If we do not deal with our own demons we will handicap or disable another sister from growing to her full potential. I made a decision this year to get to the root of my issues and deal with them up close to repair the damage done in my own heart and life. I made a decision to unleash my own insecurities & setbacks to become a better sister to my sister girls of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds. I realize it is my duty to be a better woman, to be a whole woman so I can help other women journey into being their authentic self. When you are hurting you cannot be effective in providing help to someone else. It is true hurt people hurt people and it can infect relationships to the core. I have personally experienced in my life sisterhoods growing apart or falling by the wayside because of hidden issues I did not address in my life. However, when you begin to deal with your wounds and face the demons in your closet you can heal. I started to heal when I faced roots that were sprouting from weeds in my own backyard. I tried to help everyone else but I was running from my own emotional baggage. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired when the same issues in my sisterhood were being repeated. I made a decision to be mature enough to deal with me and find out what was the root of my pain, anger, bitterness and often harsh attitude. If we never choose to deal with the root the weeds will continue to sprout in other forms of our lives and then it will have a cyclical effect. We are in an age where women can conquer anything and be whoever they want to be but if we do not face our baggage we will never grow to our full potential. Michelle Obama is a woman I admire because she knows her worth, she has the confidence and boldness to exude her power to change the lives of other people. She uses her power in a profound way to heal, uplift and inspire other women to be powerful effective women. We can learn many things in this era of First Lady Michelle Obama by understanding sisterhood has the power to connect us with your God given purpose. If  we are hurting and need assistance with the healing process maybe we should reach out to people who are qualified for the job such as therapist, psychologist, spiritual leaders etc. When two women are hurting then they cannot be each others strength because it is impossible for two wounded souls to help each other. Since we are now in an age of women evolving, soaring to higher heights we have no excuse not to be great & walk in our God given purpose. Sisterhood is about being whole within yourself so you can help someone else find the path to their authentic self. Let us let go of all the baggage and raise up to the standard of being phenomenal women who can change the world....Let's not forget women of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds can do anything because we are now living in "The Michelle Obama Era".....Let's move out of our own way!

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Letters To My Past

In order to heal sometimes you have to be willing to write a letter to your past and the people in your past. ~Stylicia~

Recently I realized the root of my anger, my temper and flying off the handle for every little thing; the root was my past hurts, scars and wounds I have not acknowledged. I also realized I had not forgiven the guy who raped me when I was 18 or the men who mentally and emotionally abused me. I have been carrying around this baggage without acknowledging it. I knew I had to bring closure to these issues instead of blocking them out of my life. I needed to also forgive female friends who treated me wrong and manipulated our friendship. My anger has been an issue for me for a long time, I would go off on  friends, family, and become very harsh. My daughter brought it to my attention that I was never happy but got angry at every little thing. I have not been at peace because there was a residue of all this junk on the inside of me. I started my journey 2 weeks ago but it took full form when September 1st, 2012 was ushered in. I am on a journey to find peace within but first I have to allow God to do a D&C to scrape out  the residue so I will not get an infection. I cannot take this load in my new place or new journey. My new life, new me and new journey begins now!

Below is a personal letter to my past & things I have bottled in my soul too long it is time to be free and open. I share this with my readers because I am no longer ashamed of my past and I can be free in order to help someone else to be free. Let's begin......

Dear Past,
I acknowledge the wounds, scars and residue you left me to deal with so today I made a decision to face these issues. I would like to first address my issue of looking for love in all the wrong places and wanting that special guy to love me. I did not love myself so I settled for sex as a form of love but it never really satisfied me because I still felt empty. At the age of 18 years old I was raped and I never fully acknowledge it because in some way I thought it was my fault because I did not scream for him to stop. I just laid there letting the act take place because I had a fear of fighting for myself. I did not want the physical intercourse at all but fear paralyzed my words to say "NO"! Today I forgive this faceless man who I cannot remember and I would like to tell him I will not hold on to my anger and bitterness anymore. I will no longer let him steal my peace, joy, happiness and love for myself. So, I forgive him for the rape and I will move on free and happy in my life. The next thing I would like to acknowledge is the consistent mental and emotional abuse I went through with certain men in my life from my past. One man that I remember in particular who threaten my life, my daughter life and stole some personal possessions from me 7 years ago. He abused me mentally and emotionally by tearing me down, ripping my self esteem to shreds but today I forgive him because I have been holding on to this pain for too long. I forgive the abuser and wish him well. I let go of the past scars and I will now be free to live a joyful life. I forgive him for the threats, for stealing my personal possessions and wish him well in his life. I also forgive all men who have abused me in some way. I stopped playing the victim role several years ago and today I am a victor. I forgive female acquaintances who have talked behind my back, slander my character and manipulated our friendship for their own personal gain. I also forgive friends who cut off the friendship without even communicating the issue with me. I forgive them and have no anger or hurt towards them because the time they had in my life was strategic and it taught me about myself. I also want to acknowledge the pain and hurt I caused them as well. Forgiveness is a two way street and never should be thought of as one way. I know I have wounded people in my life and I pray they can forgive me for my attitude, selfishness, and anger in the past. I pray they heal from the personal scars I inflicted on them. I want to make peace and so I will walk in peace by letting my past scars go. God I thank you for gutting me out, getting to the core of my soul and scarping the residue of my past. I am no longer the insecure, unhappy, angry, bitter or selfish "Stylicia" people remember I am a new woman and I walk boldly into the woman I am on today and everyday. Past, I say goodbye to you and I am finalizing our connection. I do not regret my past because it made me the beautiful person I am today. I do not regret the people I met, the friends I had but I cannot take you Past into my future because I am made new. I will remember the memories and smile when I think of you. I appreciate you because you formed me for my future. Past hurt, pain, manipulation, low self esteem and every other negative emotion that was attached to my past I say goodbye to you. I will no longer revisit the hurtful part but smile to know it all was for a bigger purpose, a purpose greater than me. I am made anew..Behold God has done a new thing and now it has sprung forth!

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19 ( New Living Translation)

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The Power Of Creativity


A person that has the power to create but stifles the ability by being passive injures the sanctity of creativity. ~Stylicia~ 

Everyone has an innate ability and power to create or produce something greater than their current situation. However, creativity is connected to our soul where thoughts, ideas, concepts and innovation springs alive in our heart. Creativity is best describe to be something or someone who has a sense of genius. They evoke their creativity by producing a visual perception of life. We often connect creativity to being an artist, poet, singer, dancer or designer but creativity is far beyond those activities. God has given everyone the ability to create because if you can visualize it then you can create it. A person that is deemed a creator has a vision and uses his/her words to produce the atmosphere that they desire. If you feel stuck or stagnant in your life then you have not be assertive about tapping into your creativity. You may have allowed distractions to fog your vision and  take you off course. However, in order to tap into your creative power you have to begin to understand the power of creativity. God created the heavens and earth by speaking into existence his visualization of the world (Genesis 1). Visualizing is an important part of creating because it help you produce the atmosphere you see. If you can imagine the life you dream of and clearly see it then the power of creativity can flourish from your vision. Also speaking the words of life will stimulate the growth of your creativity because it will produce the visualization. Words have a powerful connection in creativity because words are the foundation of creating. If you visualize but never speak of the visual stimuli then it lies dormant in your spirit. Some people have no idea of the power of creativity because they often visualize or dream but never speak the words to create the life they desire. In order to start producing the life you often visualize you first have to understand the steps in tapping into your creativity and then activate your power to produce the life you desire. So, below are quick steps to follow to inspire you to tap into the power of creativity to manufacture the life you desire and often dream of:

1. Blockage: The first step is understand what is blocking your visualization or perception of what you see...(i.e fear, torment, low self esteem, people, distractions, passiveness etc.)

2. Identify the distractions: Understand what is it that take you off course and once you pinpoint the "distracting agent" then find ways to discipline your focus by seeing the "BIG PICTURE"!

3.  Power of Words: In order to create you must attach words to your visual perception so make a list of words that identify with what you see or what you dream of...Make sure the words are a conducive to the atmosphere you wish to create. For example, I visualize myself living in Paris so the words I will attach to my visual perception is: love, muse, traveling, excitement, exploration, Eiffel Tower, French  etc. 

4. Activate: Once you practice the three steps mentioned above then it is time to activate your creative power by being assertive about creating your atmosphere. 
  • Research- You can start by researching on the Internet, buying books or going to the library to get information. 
  • Collect data-Demographics, Statistics etc.  
  • Connect- Start connecting with people who are living the life you desire or have experienced the life you often dream about. Surround yourself with like minded people. 
After you have successfully completed the following steps to guide you then you will be eager to activate the power of your creativity....

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The Challenges of Motherhood

As I sit here in a quiet space while my daughter is tucked away in bed sleeping happily, thoughts float through my head on how motherhood has been the most challenging job I have ever had to this day. I have been really seeking God on being a better mother learning to put aside my selfish needs and desires to cultivate a nurturing home life and relationship with my daughter. I am blessed to be a mother, so many times I believe I took that for granted not realizing my time with my daughter is the most rewarding time of my life. It's funny how God will use small things to show me I am right where I need to be in my life.  When I had my oldest daughter at the age of 22 my world changed and a close friend of mine during that time taught me how to go from club girl to a mother. My daughter changed my life and sometimes I believe in spite of the choices I made God used her to save my life. I had another life to look after and it was my responsibility to nurture and raise this blessing from God.

     Then at the age of 25 God blessed me with another baby girl named Serenity. I felt guilty to bring my daughters in a world without being married. Although, I chose to be a single parent when I brought them into this world unwed, but I still was determined to not let this handicap my ability to be a good mother to them. It is not easy being a single parent, at times I wanted to cry because it can be hard to be the only person trying to maintain the household and not have that second person to help in the household. I made up my mind that motherhood is not a part time job, seasonal or contracted job put a full time commitment. When my baby daughter died a part of me died and it was so hard to even want to push past my emptiness because I love my girls more than anything. However, I had to push past the devastation and be determined to make a healthy life for my oldest daughter. It was not fair to her for me to stop living because I still had to raise her.
    
     During the healing process of losing one child I was challenged to start a new life when I separated from the U.S. Navy in 2008. I realized it was the best thing to do because my oldest daughter needed me. As I look back now I realize I dedicated nine years to the military and now it was time to dedicate my time to building my home like a mother should do. In society we are not given the choice sometimes to stay at home to raise our kids and build our homes like the Proverbs 31 woman however, we have to be committed to making time to build our homes as women. I have not worked for 4 years and I thank God he has provided for me and my daughter. This is my time to give back to my daughter, spend quality time with her and teach her effective life lessons. The greatest gift I can give back to my daughter is to nurture her growth as a young lady. As a mother it is my duty to teach her how to be a Christian young lady and have values in this often harsh world. It's funny while I am writing this the epiphany hits me...my duty in this season of my life is to be a mother who is at home. It is my duty to build my home and nurture my child. I am learning everyday how to raise my ten year old daughter to be a young lady who is classy, smart, assertive and teaching her she can own her own business. I realize since I am going to college at 33 I am teaching my daughter to never give up on her dreams. I had many setbacks but the greatest comeback is me living my dream because my daughter's success is connected to me.

Motherhood may not be easy but in the end it is the most rewarding gift in the world....

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Go Ahead...Be Simply Fabulous!


A confident woman is a woman who embraces her beauty,
shows her beauty, creates her own style, make no excuses
for her greatness
by ostracizing herself to fit in with other woman.
She is not fearful but fearless.
She teach others how to "own'" their greatness,
She speaks well of her haters & still manages to laugh when
people talk behind her back & laugh in her face because she realizes some
wish they could be her but she only is doing the world justice by walking in her
 God given purpose!
She is the woman who only wishes to create a fabulous life because she is
"Simply Fabulous"!  ~Stylicia~

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I Want More!

    



     Today I was supposed to take a day off from social media, writing and school work however I was not successful with sticking to that commitment. However, I did take a break from my school work per my daughter's orders (LOL). It was hard to take a break from my writing because this is what I do best; writing heals me, soothes me and inspires me when everything else seems to fail . It is not hard to take a break from my social media outlets but today I received a great tweet from a fellow writer saying these words:

Danni Kay@mzaleck: @releasethepen: And so I'm set 2 write Dating Tales of a Church Girl 4 the next 6 wks! Check me out every Mon on       

     In a quick instance this tweet uplifted me because when you have a gift and work hard at what you do you pray that soon your gift will be showcased before the world. Her news gave me hope, joy, faith and determination not to cast away my confidence in the gift God has freely given me. When your words have the power to alter someones life then the gift you carry is powerful. Words are powerful, Proverbs 18: 21 says so,"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit" (NIV).
  Eventhough, I have been blessed with so many opportunities in my writing I am still determined to reach higher ground. God has blessed me with an amazing gift to touch people's soul through the stroke of my pen. I am very grateful for the doors He has opened up in my writing journey this year and years pasted but, Danni's tweet gave me hope to never settle for mediocrity but continue to reinvent myself through my writing. I am in a different space and place in my life now so I yearn to have more, obtain more and be more . I know where I am is not where I plan to be in the next couple of months. Some may believe that wanting more is wrong but wanting more means you are making a choice to live the life you desire. Why settle for less when you can have more, expect more and live abundantly. We were created to live a fabulous life and today Danni's tweet reminded me to jump on the bandwagon of expectation; "Expect more, Want More, So You Can Have More!"      

You can follow Danni @mzaleck on twitter or check out her site at www.missaleck.com   and check her out on essence.com for her feature every Monday for the next 6wks "Dating Tales of a Church Girl ".

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Valuable Life Lessons

Life is all about learning, teaching and processing the lessons. Lessons are bittersweet because they teach you valuable things about yourself and other people. Experiences become teachers to develop you into a better person. Wisdom is the reward generated from lessons. Lessons have a lasting impact on your future choices but life lessons are valuable. I have learned several life altering lessons in the last six months. Here is a quick list of my top five lessons:

1. Be at peace with who you are because what you think of yourself is the only thing that matters.
2. Do not take anything personally.
3. Change is a great thing, be willing to relocate.
4. Observe a persons body language, the less a person says the more they say. You can know a persons character by their actions. Watch carefully!
5. Start over, embrace new beginnings and wipe the slate clean.

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Sit Down

Yesterday I felt overwhelmed with life so today I had the pleasure of relaxing, doing absolutely nothing!




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Rescue You

A month in a half has passed and I have not written on my blog...I like to be inspired that is why I named it "The Inspirational Corner". There is inspirational behind my pen when I write because I have a habit to write from my soul! ~Stylicia


I am a movie lover and some movies leave a print on my mind and heart. I just finished watching "My Week With Marilyn" based on a true story by Colin Clark describing his magical week with Marilyn Monroe. It left a provoking thought in my head, fame can sometimes kill the most beautiful women. Marilyn Monroe had a persona that she developed in the public eye and she had to live up to her brand she created. However, people had no idea of the real person she was beyond the sex symbol image. I believe many women create a persona in the public eye but that is not who they really are on the inside.Whitney Houston was another iconic woman who people saw as a musical princess but they did not know who Whitney was behind her brand image. Whitney Houston and Marilyn Monroe both had a tragic end to their life. However, these two beautiful women were constantly everything to everyone else but no one was there to save them from their demise. As women we are built to wear many hats but sometimes we forget the woman on the inside need personal care. If we do not get that personal care then we start to develop an unhealthy relationship with our self. Marilyn and Whitney both needed to be rescued from their demanding life, feeling unpretty,incompetent, insecure and feeling like their talent was not enough. These beautiful women were icons who made a great impression on women in their lifespan. It is sad to have all the money in the world but not feel love from within. It is important as a woman we find time to retreat away from the pressures of life when we feel like we are losing who we are on the inside. Some of us are dying on the inside but smiling on the outside because we just want to be rescued. I still ponder what would of happen if Whitney Houston, Marilyn Monroe and Amy Winehouse would have been rescued from their misery. Ladies, misery loves company but it is your duty to connect back with the light.There comes a time where you have to find time to separate your roles from being a mother, wife, friend, mentor, nurturer and career woman to connect with who you are,  connecting with your God given persona. I have many names but sometimes I just have a desire just to be Stylicia, the fun, crazy, edgy, goofy and unadulterated person I was created to be. However, the biggest lesson I have learned from Marilyn Monroe and Whitney Houston is no matter how many demands, titles and roles I have to play in life the most important role is being good to myself. I have to learn to be my own best friend!

Ladies take to time to retreat away, to regroup and be you, be true to the woman that needs nurturing on the inside!

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